catching the 5 a.m. bus


He slowly loses mass while I sleep, the cells of his body evaporating into morning. By the time I wake, he is gone, as well are his things. Defined by absence, no note is left, nothing to say he was here, only a small clear space is left behind on the floor from his suitcase. He drifts away like a ghost, particles shedding into the air with every breath as I dream, his kisses vanishing with him. Sitting in the bed, I find a few stray hairs on the pillow and twist them around a finger, wedding ring proof he’s not imaginary, but still I do not believe.

Keep the Jigsaw Renaissance going strong.

Willow

Darling Willow, head mischief maker and leader of the Seattle-based Jigsaw Renaissance makerspace.


Jigsaw has recently moved to a beautiful new home on Capitol Hill, but requires more community support in order to stay there, as the rent is higher in the new space than it was in the warehouse district warren it inhabited before. Do you need regular access to a makerspace or know someone who does? Join now! Membership gives you access to various tools, a machineshop, a get-your-hands-dirty peergroup, and a sturdy workbench to use them all on. When I was there late last week as part of their Saturday open house, there were 3d printed earrings, night-vision capable copper robots, and a fuzzed out rubber band mint-tin guitar on display, someone was playing Bach on a digital reproduction of a pipe organ, and one table was completely surrounded by people arm in arm, acting as human conductors for the electricity needed for an LED display.

Vancouver excerpted

A friend of mine is considering moving to Vancouver to attend UBC, but doesn’t know anything about what the city is like. Here’s what I sent her in response to a request for a basic run-down of places to live. Did I miss anything? Can you think of any other essential information to add?

Out by UBC is expensive. Closer in is Kitsilano, where the yuppies live. It’s more expensive than other areas, but it’s nice, and there’s basement suites that are under a grand. Trees everywhere, beaches, lots of fit people jogging with dogs. Features a 24 hour vegetarian restaurant, boutiques upon boutiques, good coffee, and a nice little movie theater.

I live over by Commercial Drive, which is like a smaller, less late night Capitol Hill, minus the gay district slant, and without night clubs or artist lofts. It’s gentrifying, but still high in hippie content. Commercial Drive is where to find cheap organic food, musicians, lesbians, new parents, people with dreadlocks, and surprisingly good video rentals. It’s also got one of the two 24 grocery stores. Think bicycles, dyed hair, tattoos, alt culture, and marijuana. It’s easy to meet people here, it’s cheap, it’s friendly, and it’s where most of the art comes from. You’re welcome to stay in my livingroom on the fold-out couches for awhile when you’re here, until you find a good place to settle in.

There’s two other corridors that are fairly good to live, Cambie St and Main St, and if you can manage to live in between the two, you’ll get the best of both worlds. Main street is where the hipsters live, and with them come cliques, expensive indie clothes, some good food, some excellent coffee, and a lot of people with similar bad hair-cuts. Most of the apartments nearby are cheap because they’re horrible, but you’d have a lot of neat neighbors, if you ever find a way to meet them. Closer to Cambie is more where people want to raise their kids, very middle class, lots of elementary schools, but it’s recently gained a subway line, so the landscape there is going to change soon. Go too far west, though, and you hit a money wall. Too far east and you’re over by Fraser/Clark, one of the highest break-in areas in the city.

Next is downtown’s West End. Central, high density, the majority being apartments within a square of four major streets. To the North is Robson st, which consists of shoe stores, high end clothing, expensive restaurants, and tourist tat. West is Denman St, (and Stanley Park), which is where you’ll find stores that only sell cupcakes, cake, or ice-cream. South is Davie St, the gay corridor where things like bus-stops and trash cans are painted barbie pink, there are some night-clubs, and the other 24 hour grocery store. East is Granville St, where the drunk kids club-hop, and Yaletown, where money pools, as well as pretension.

North-East is Crackton, the poorest postal code in Canada. You can find a lot about it online, where it’s called the Lower Downtown East Side. It’s not as generally dangerous as people might think, but nor is it safe to randomly wander. (As an example, it’s where the Picton brothers stole their women off the side of the street to torture and kill for fun on their farm.) It’s like the worst of Oakland, but instead of racism, it’s drug use. I used to live there because it was cheap, but it destroys you as a human being. It should never be normal to witness bus-stop stabbings, having to use weapons on your walk home from work, or waking up with your door wedged shut by a dead body.

Back in Vancouver!

Tony and I have tickets to see Evelyn Evelyn, (Amanda Palmer and Jason Webley as conjoined twin sisters managed by a mad svengalian Sxip Shirey!!), tonight at Venue. Such an audacious concept, put together by such splendiferous people, can only be amazing. You know it, I know it. Come on out and play! Tickets are still available for $25 at Ticketmaster, livenation.com, Zulu, Red Cat, and Highlife Records.

about to go out into the light

“There is a verifiable population of kangaroos living in the wild in the township of Émancé, about an hour outside of Paris. The kangaroos are descended from a breeding population which escaped during a botched burglary attempt at an animal park in the 1970s.”

Shaking the last bit of milk out of the carton into my bunny and flower shaped local health-food alternative to kid’s cereal, I realize I’ve just played mimic, my hand repeating the exact motions of shaking the last sound out of an electric boot. Looking to find meaning in the moment, given that this is breakfast, (and breakfast should always involve a certain level of introspection), I expand the spark of revelation into the far more liberating idea that my past will be very little like my future. Life might be financially hard right now, but in this minute, it is not at all apparent. I feel free standing in the kitchen, held by the love of the past twenty four hours, my friends, the future. I have sunlight, food and this associated gesture grasped in my hand, a physical manifestation of what I have accomplished, who I have become close to. The prosaic motion of my wrist has blossomed into a crack in time, sluicing away some of the hard, bitter veneer painted on my skin by bad history. Poor past choices are flaking away, being replaced by wonderful new memories almost every single day. Though I might be damaged, I am recovering. Though I am alone, I am not lonely.

stress, a subject of some familiarity

File Taxes

The woman at my appointment said not to worry about my back-filing, just to get last year’s paperwork in as soon as I could, but I’m finding it a struggle. Does anyone know how to do this based only on income? I don’t have any T4’s, any proper employment slips, only cheque stubs that list the amount I was paid.

Finish Highschool

First-Time Writing Fee = $60.00. To take the test, I must submit a completed APPLICATION TO WRITE GED TESTS form and appropriate fees to the GED Testing Service in Victoria. The next tests are on June 4th & 5th, but the paperwork needs to be in a month ahead of time, so July 9 & 10 are more likely. It takes both days to attend all of the exams. (“The five tests take seven hours and twenty-five minutes to complete.”)

Learn to drive

I have been taking the ICBC Online Practice Knowledge Test for learner’s licence almost every single day, and consistantly scoring in the 90% range. Once I return to Canada, it’s $15, a vision test, and I’ll officially have a Learner’s Permit. Next step: unearthing patient friends with cars.

Learn something new

The constant search for employment is wearing me down. It’s been fruitless for months, now. Rent is looming, no one’s calling me back. I want to learn some marketable skills, give myself some direction. Does anyone know of any education assistance programs? My income is essentially zero right now, and I’m running out of ideas.