No explanation is forthcoming from my friend missing. If that is how things are to be, I suppose I must accept. I suppose, as well, that I have distraction enough currently to keep me worried overmuch. I hope it does not continue too long.
Gavool leaves Wednesday.
First night here I woke in the darkness rigid. Too early for morning light, there was someone in the bed beside me. Quick strict feeling of Wrong. I’m better now. I’m learning. We’re learning. Feeling sometimes like I’m trying to force something that isn’t there. Pushing against to find no barrier. I think that he does the same. Intimacy not quite, but acting as if. Not time enough to wait in, but time enough maybe to remember his face.
“This art is ABOUT”
Stretched out pale last night in the faint light from the window. Same size hands creating out of nothing. Curves, angles, a filled out form. Alabaster. My new favorite thing. Studying for sculpture, settling perhaps in for a painting. Frieze for you. Frozen. A pose. Nothing to hide. I won’t close my eyes when you look at me. Afterward, for a moment, surprise as you terrified. Figure study seduction darling. The absinthe on the table with the still life as we enact stereotypes. Next time, we should do this in France.