Cloth instead of drug store bought, cloth instead of paintings, cloth instead of a tongue.

Usually I can deal with the unexpected, but lately I’ve not been keeping myself well, (not enough sleep, certainly not enough calories), and my dizzy lack of amino acids is leaving me open to feeling threatened. There were people in my house pretending to be characters in some game and I’m wasn’t comfortable with it. I’ve always had a very stiff Leave Your Dice At The Door policy and it’s always served me well. That felt like a breach of contract between me and my life. I was supposed to go dancing after, but those participating didn’t seem to care much either way if I attended or no, so it seemed wiser to hurt alone rather than inflict my hormonal self on the world. One of them is too important to me still to have to heir his false affections tonight, though bonds are thankfully dissolving in his self obsessions and my glad distractions. It’s my time of month to be lonely, to want particular people to call on me in the middle of the night and crawl warmly into bed with me.

  • Accountant “cashanova” embezzles 1.9 billion Yen for 17 mistresses.
  • Ohio Police Arrest Woman For $1 In Unpaid Taxes.

    Saturday I woke up too early, walked out the door before I was entirely prepared. Today I did the same. Today I didn’t go hiking all over a treasured nature park though, instead I went wisely for breakfast with Ryan, Navi, and Jenn, then went with them to Sunday Tea before work. (I hadn’t been for months. It was nice to sit and harmlessly flirt with Travis. My world needs more remarkably tall intelligent gay pirates in it.). I met up with Lori after, a friend I haven’t seen in something akin to four years, though it may be closer to three. We couldn’t remember.

  • A two year old toddler has shot a three year old in the hip and thigh.
  • Dead women elected as councilors in Pakistan.

    Now I’m up again after lying awake for over an hour brushing off Ryan’s in-sleep cuddles and trying not to let my emotions tackle me down to the ground. I found myself wondering where my loved ones are, and then, how many of them are there anyway all told. I am tiny and my mouth newly empty of teeth. My tongue probes and explores the gaps and depresses me. How am I to tear into the world like this? I feel as if there have been far fewer influences on my life than a regular tally would count. Years from now, I will remember Joseph clearly, though not who came before, then my marriage to Aubrey. Then there was a hiatus, a few artists already fading. One, however, overlapped the others with a fish-hook heart that I’m still recovering from. Shaking that from my system has left me a little peculiar, as it was deeply lodged in my own for so long that I still feel an absence. Wisdom teeth coming in. Growing pains. Matthew discarding what self I still had to give. Every person a lesson in trust, in disbelief, in the eternal ridiculousness of pain, in the undying willingness to try the damned idea out repeatedly. As I’m gathering myself back to my feet, I am knocking others off them. Let’s take this as a good sign, a marker stating the game’s afoot again. Same field, different rules. Maybe this round I’ll get to win something pleasant.

  • I posted and seventeen people arrived, let’s see what some warning may bring


    Celebration of Light – Canada
    Originally uploaded by beccabug.

    The lovely medousa has offered her place as a downtown meet-up for the Saturday night fireworks. Anyone interested should meet on the NorthWest corner of Barclay & Thurlow by the fire hydrant. The time to do so, however, is up in the air, as I don’t know what anyone’s plans are. Is there going to be another conclave on the beach? More skinny dipping? I’ve not a clue, so tell me. Where and when have people been discussing?

    edit: Meeting at 7:30 – 8 with beginning to walk at 8:15. Good?
    edit: just in case you missed it, party at Reina‘s tonight.

    partially for mckenzee

    Copied from all kinds of people.

    1. Copy and paste your friendslist behind a cut.
    2. If you’ve friended multiple journals by the same person, delete all but the “main” one.
    3. Bold the name of everyone you know or have met in “real life.”
    4. Italicize the name of everyone you’ve spoken to on the phone.*
    5. Underline the name of everyone you’ve chatted with online. (I’m assuming LJ doesn’t count, but anything else online does)
    6. [Bracket] people you’ve known, online or off, for more than five years.
    7. Turn family members red
    8. Pass it on.

    FLIST