continuing the run down

  • Yet another reason not to fly United Airlines.
  • Responsibletravel.com, devoted to environmentally friendly travel across the world.
  • MyFootprint.org estimates the amount of land and ocean area required to sustain your consumption patterns and absorb your wastes on an annual basis.

    Yesterday I applied for four jobs, had brunch with Michelle on the Drive, (where Fitz and his love happened to be), then brought her to Kyle’s, where we all exercised like mad. (Swearing it will be a weekly thing from here on in). After that, we took the skytrain out to New Westminster, where Michelle went home, and we went to the Debonair Wedding Store, where we and the rest of the groom’s party were fitted for tuxedo tail jackets for his wedding. Deposits were put down, then we drove to Metrotown and found purple shirts for our tuxes and potential pants. I skipped out on Maria In The Shower show at the Rio due to the hour and affordability issues, but I cleaned my room some more when I got home, sorted some books out of my collection for charity, and walked them over to the donation bin. I also set up a time to pick up my new glasses, did some studying for the GED, and repeated the written practice driving test until I got at least 92% correct every time.

    Today I’m picking up my new glasses, then heading down to Seattle to celebrate my one year anniversary with Tony! How did I ever get so lucky?

  • it hailed today and blessed us with fox rain

    tony

    To Do List (updated)

  • Sell giant mirror.
  • Paint the livingroom white. Ready the livingroom for painting.
  • Purchase paint for the mirror frames.
  • Paint my bedroom. Ready my bedroom for painting.
  • Obtain cat-resistant curtains.
  • Obtain new bed sheets.
  • Reorganize hall closet.
  • Frame the posters/art.
  • Get new glasses. Pick up glasses/contacts. Learn how to use contacts.
  • Learn to drive.
  • Pass highschool.
  • File taxes 1999-2009. Fill out my 2009 Tax Forms.
  • Take a dance class.
  • Learn something new.

    Work on my life continues to escalate, much of it thanks to Tony.

    There’s other things too, (like job hunting, love letters, cleaning my room, completing my workspace, writing and compiling the picture book, working on Thread of Grace, charting out some travel plans, getting more exercise, being more social, finalizing the groom’s party wedding planning, researching schools, and finally, finally, catching up on my massive photography back-log), but those are all being chipped at, bit by bite, and don’t feel quite as much like “one good shot and they’re done” kind of tasks. In regards to this list, I’m trying to take at least one step forward every single day. Monday I applied for five jobs, picked up my 2009 tax forms, officially requested my employment slips, had an eye exam and a contacts fitting, visited with Jay, and significantly made a dent in the clutter in my room. Today I applied for three, returned all the phone calls and most of the e-mail I’ve been neglecting, started pinning down travel plans with Lung, dropped by Dominique‘s, edited a chapter of a friend’s novel, and bought a pail of white paint. Tonight I’m going to start on my tax forms, hook up my printer and scanner and clean more of my room. Tomorrow I’m planning on finishing what I don’t get done tonight, prepping my livingroom for paint, sorting some of the front hall, visiting with Randa, and still finding time for a bike ride with Kyle.

  • he makes me laugh

  • Fighting allergies by mimicking parasitical worms.
  • Of all the people in human history who ever reached the age of 65, half are alive now.

    Tony was just here for a week on a languid “vacation”, semi-officially off work after his product shipped and Microsoft turned a winking eye on the staff. Good work! Yeah, you, uh, should, you know, “work from home” this week, everyone, yeah. You know? We were slothful, staying up until four every night and indolently waking up at noon every day, something I haven’t done in years. I was concerned such a state of affairs might drive me batty, my itch to accomplish scouring my skin, but instead it was oddly refreshing. We were lazy and lovely and cuddly and snuggly and warm, and Dominique called me sappy, and I thought, how wonderful that sap has replaced my blood. I felt a bit like a battery being recharged, like my inactive down time would pay off in a burst of focus.

    And, so far, it has.

    When I put up my to-do list, Tony stepped in and offered to fund a “Jhayne Diagnostic Test” for my birthday. Kicking the tires, he called it, to see if I’m alright. Making sure I can see him, making sure I’m smart enough, and eventually, that I’ll be able to drive him around. Can’t have a girlfriend that isn’t up to par, he said, and smirked, and if he had been sitting beside me, I would have bashed him with a pillow. He was in Seattle, though, so instead I shook my fist.

    So this week we found a place on-line that sells lingerie for more full bodied ladies, BreakoutBras, and snagged a batch of Harlequins that were on sale, and on Saturday I went to Image Optical, an optometrist who offers a free pair of glasses with every eye exam, which includes a contact lens exam/fitting, got my prescription updated, and picked out some frames. (Not that my glasses will be free. My vision is terrible and to purchase lenses that will not warp space and time costs a significant chunk extra. The blind tax, I call it. Unavoidable. Only $140 in this case, though, half of what more places expect.)

    Today I go downtown for an appointment with the tax office to request my employment slips of the past ten years, then head over to the optometrist, credit card the glasses, (my mother is going halvers with me), and have my eyes measured for contact lenses. My eyes have apparently stabilized in the last few years, not entirely, but the prescription is no longer a bizarre, finicky one that requires custom attention, so the lenses are fairly basic, and the glasses will be finished and ready for pick-up tomorrow. Once that’s accomplished, and I can see without fog again, I’m going to march right over to the ICBC Driver’s Center and take my written Learner’s test.

    The ball is rolling, ladies and gentleman. The gloves are off.

  • tulle, fire-spinning, and poetry

    Apartment To-Do List

  • Sell giant mirror.
  • Paint my room white.
  • Paint the livingroom white. Update: purchased one pail of white paint
  • Paint the mirror frames.
  • Obtain cat-resistant curtains.
  • Obtain new bed sheets.
  • Obtain new underwire underwear. Breakout Bras had Harlequins on sale!
  • Reorganize hall closet.
  • Frame the posters/art. Framed: one portrait of my mother.
  • Find my bloody tutu. Found! Apparently I crammed over 26 meters of tulle into a tiny shoebox under my bed.

    Heading down to Seattle again this weekend, this time to catch my friend’s 14-piece rock circus band, The Mutaytor, as they take the stage at Neumos on Sunday. They’re actually playing Whistler’s snowboarding festival tomorrow night, but trying to trek after them is a task out of my league. Better to just stay put and let them come to me!

    Also upcoming, the Vancouver Poetry Slam Finals on Monday. Even if you’re like me and mostly skip every single other slam for the entire year, (poetry slam drama bingo anyone?), this is the Big Show, the one not to miss, where the best of the best of this year’s contentants duke it out literary style to make it onto the next Van Slam Poetry Team and onward to the International Finals!

  • I’ve got a lot of bitches to plow

    2010 To-Do List

    0. Get out of debt. 1. File taxes 1999-2009. 2. Learn to drive. 3. Finish highschool. 4. Get new glasses. 5. Take a dance class. 6. Learn something new.

    Expanded:

    1. Filing taxes requires having paperwork that I do not have. The government will provide them, though not right away. Once the paperwork is provided, I should be able to file the entire ten years all at once. Task mostly requires patience and obscene gobs of waiting, as well as calling numerous tax office help lines. (Cost: unknown.)
    UPDATE: I have an appointment on April 26th to request my T4s.

    2. Obtaining a driver’s license in BC is a multi-year process. First you must pass a written knowledge test, which I have no qualms about, and pass a vision screening test, which I am almost certain to fail, as my current glasses are scratched to a fog. This gets you a Learner’s license. After a year has passed as a Learner (L), you are then allowed to take your Class 7 test. When you pass the Class 7 road test, you’ll be given a Class 7 Novice (N) licence. You will need to display an N sign and obey the N restrictions. You will remain in the N stage for at least 24 months. After 24 months in the N stage, then and only then may you take the second road test. If I were to pass a written test tomorrow, I would not have a proper drivers license until I was thirty. Yes, it’s ridiculous. No, it does not B.C.’s roads any safer. For the record, I passed the written before, but it expired before I could do anything about it. (Cost: $15/written test, ?? – $1200/driving lessons, $50/driving test, $31/two year N license, $75 actual license.)

    3. The General Educational Development (GED) is a set of five multiple choice tests in the areas of language arts writing, language arts reading, social studies, science and mathematics. The language arts writing test also requires the writing of an essay. By passing the tests, GED certificate holders demonstrate they possess academic abilities that are equivalent to those of secondary school graduates. Specific knowledge, however, such as mathematical and scientific formulas, specific literary works, etc., is not tested. Lucky me? They are only held seven times a year, on very particular dates. The next testing date is APRIL 30/MAY 1, which is my one year anniversary with Tony. The next one after that is JUNE 4/5. (Cost: $60/GED test, $10/Transcript of Marks.)

    4. Thom, the fellow from LastWear, pointed me in the direction of Zenni Optical, as a reliable place for cheap on-line glasses. He swears by them, and his eyes are almost precisely as wretched as mine, if not worse. They only need your prescription and pupillary distance, the distance between the pupils of the eyes, center to center. This is significant, as last time I got glasses, my lenses alone cost approximately $350. (Cost: $75-90/eye exam, $20-$90/glasses.)

    5. I felt I had to throw something on the list that didn’t feel dire. The Drive Dance Center just up the road has some nice looking mid-week classes I’d like to take. I’ve been feeling like a whale lately, a pale, soft creature, blubbery as protection against cold, and exercise can only do me good. Plus, dancing! I love dancing! You know what I don’t love? Sit-ups. And that none of my clothes fit. (Except for the most recent batch, in size large, that I bought so I would stop feeling like I couldn’t leave the house). (Cost: $145/11 weeks of progressive 1 hour clasess.)

    6. Word.

    as if anyone cares about this stuff

    According to the June 2007 Discover Magazine, the internet weighs 0.2 millionths of an ounce.

    I count my skin as fingerprints, distant voices traveling through wires, places I lived that are only names on highway signs where I am now, and the paper pamphlets collected from endless hands on corners, islands of passion in the middle of seas of uniform strangers, all stars of their own films, to which I’m barely an extra. I count my fingerprints as netted truth, minutes caught together in information and joy, the small symbolic poetry of crossing an invisible finish line, arms in the air.

    Yesterday I was out of it, eyes dilated, responding to my environment as if my nervous system was watching from outer space. Sounds felt tinny, like my tongue. It started after work on Thursday. Thursday night after my phone-call, I curled up in my duvet nest of bed, (the other half of my mattress is stacks and piles of books), and stared at the ceiling until I was willing to be crazy and simply get up again. Trying to sleep was about as effective as talking to a wall, which meant that Friday began a little loose around the edges. I had red bull and blue curacou for breakfast, and then for lunch, as I helped Silva set up her yard sale, which is when the edges completely fell out and the world began to sway in careful patterns.

    It didn’t help that my evening then became the I Braineater gallery opening where my friend’s father randomly accused me of having a birthday soon and then, just as suddenly, ceased to talk to me; explaining, in detail, how one goes about safely blowing up 100 televisions; mildly hallucinating while standing on the corner by Tinseltown, having a deep personal conversation with a man I barely know; wading into a thrashing metal mosh-pit in a dark dirty pub full of kids with ironic Aerosmith t-shirts; possibly breaking some teeth of a junkie who wanted my bag then sitting with a hippie pan handler, tears tattooed under his eyes like a harlequin, to help him tie his shoes; ending up at Organix and finding it full of drunk brazilian boys, (since when did anyone have alcohol at a psytrance night?); finally having to hurt one of them too, just to be left alone; being given a Bjork ticket by a best friend’s ex-boyfriend’s roommate, (the same man who left me to wake up next to an unknown naked scotsman once); then realizing, when I’m home after dancing until I couldn’t walk and barely see, that the machine-gun sun was coming up and I had to be somewhere in a couple of hours. (I suspect that I sent some worrying e-mails to various countries then, but I haven’t the energy to check the damage yet. Nor will I, so fess up.)

    So Friday became Saturday, where I got to ache, have more blue curocaou, sit a lot, try not to haphazardly cry, (being a rational human being has no place in such matters, apparently), and be mildly rained on at the yard sale. Saturday I finally slept, but not until something that wasn’t quite 2 a.m. I’m still burned out, but it’s more of a flickering scorch than a hospital ward stay. Such things do not actually “get better” but the machine, after hiccoughs, smooths itself out. Tonight Brian is picking me up after work to help me recover, tomorrow Keith is yanking some of us out to a random island for photos, and I’ve got dinner with not-the-conspiracy-theorist Merlyn. Should be fun, (or at least distracting).

    people keep asking how I am

    Fondue was a success thanks to Ryan, Eva, Silva, her two friends, Ian, Ethan, Lung, Michael, Imogyne, Mike, Nick, Duncan, David, Beth, Mike, Alice, and Adam. At one point, the teahouse ran out of seats and I stood, leaning over people to get at the tasty treats.

  • The origin of HIV has been found in wild chimpanzees living in southern Cameroon.
    we look like we're related

    It doesn’t seem real that my birthday is so close again. Just Monday, Monday and the number clicks over another digit. Three to four. My mother got it wrong, thought I was older. It was her graduation from the University of British Columbia yesterday. I got the day off work to watch her walk across the stage to receive paper proof of her achievement. The pride that thrilled through me was burnished bright by the satisfied smile on her face. I took pictures after of her in her cap and gown, holding the blue folder that contains her degree. Then we took pictures of me in the gown on the basis that it’s very likely the only chance I’ll ever have to wear one. Driving home with her through the sharp rain on the motorcycle, I had to lean forward and hug her, the love and respect simply swelled to more than I could contain. She’s survived a ridiculous amount of harm to get where she is, and though it’s not ideal, she’s still scraping to get by, it’s a testament to her tenacity that she persevered and put herself through university as a single mother with three kids. It’s more than most have done.

    Tonight I have dinner with friends, tomorrow I have dinner with Silva, Saturday Ray is rescuing me possibly from my masque-panic hell and sweeping me about town to try and find something to wear, (suggestions bloody appreciated), and there’s (as yet unverified) rumour of a second SinCity to be held at Richards on Richards. (If there is no Sin, who wants to have a party?) Sunday I’m still planning on being down in Seattle with Eliza, though it’s looking less and less likely as the day approaches and no rides have been forthcoming. Monday my mother is bringing me to a soiree at the Mansion, and Tuesday is the last May Mandarin Movie Tuesday.

  • there’s a membrane drawn over my week


    axismundi
    Originally uploaded by camil tulcan.

    A sound like god, what happens when a man covered in microphones walks into a room full of speakers.

    I have been measuring things more in my eyes than my hands this week, which leads to interesting bits of missing time that I worry for, as if they’re my children and I’ve abandoned them for that crucial minute too long in the shopping mall where now the only way to get them back is in newspaper articles I clip out and tape to my fridge.

    Last weekend, Burrow was in town. I know that for certain. The order of her arrival is written down, there were pictures taken. She stayed over Friday night with Sam, the evening of Meat Eatery. Sam and I had walked to BJ’s after dinner, watched atrocious movies with Bob and his girl-darling from Parksville, then returned to curl up with Burrow asleep in my bed. We were quiet, but woke her unintentionally.

    Saturday we crawled out of bed in time for the Fool’s Parade. Sam went home to shackle himself to his desk and Burrow and I rolled like tired thunder downtown and met with Duncan, Jenn, Georg, and her pink-dyed ferret, Silky. The parade was rainy and under-attended, so after coming close to winning the Fool of the Year award with ferret breasts, we abandoned the street for Taf’s. When work didn’t have my paycheque ready, we turned around and walked to the Bay to visit with Eva at her clinical cosmetics booth. It was fascinating, in a quiet colourful way, but not enough to keep Burrow and I from going home to rest before Duncan pulled us out to the graceful Fool’s Cabaret on Main st. Reine‘s mother was there, and Siobhan, a friend of friend’s we went to dinner with after.

    Monday is missing, a played out afterburn. I took some self-portraits, but I don’t know if I slept there at home or not. There was one, two ideas. A number, undifferentiated. Something.

    Tuesday is more concrete, not only written down, but recorded. Video, audio, photographs. Imogyne and I at Hawksley Workman with darling Sophie. The Cultch in all it’s warmly worn desiccating glory, intimate, red curtained. I remembered all the shows I’d played there. Running through the back when I was a child, that one time making love inside the roof. Downstairs hot-boxing the worn office, how there was once a pane of glass violently shattered in the middle of an orchestral piece, how the beads of my necklace clattered as I bounced and clapped. The music was good too, his acoustic version of striptease sincerely captivating.

    After, Devon came over and we stayed up until the last bus, listening to our bootlegs and drinking weary tea. Imogyne eventually went home, and Devon and I talked until far too late, making me late for work Wednesday. The day I went to Andrew‘s after work and Georg and I re-dyed my hair into the colour of sticky quill ink while watching Ghost in the Shell. She came back to my place after, and we let the ferret run free through my apartment as we talked about partners and lives lost, the soulmates of just then and not today and maybe yesterday we knew something and maybe tomorrow we’ll have some hope. She wrote poetry and I woke up in the morning holding her hand.

    Thursday I had a date with Sam, a real live date, not one of those on-line long-distance approximations my life seems to enjoy lauding me with. Cleaned up versions of us met at Tinseltown for the Brick preview and had dinner at Wild Ginger before walking out to False Creek to hang out on a water fountain and eat caramel ice-cream. We sat under the moon passing the tub back and forth like a cheap cigarette and talked about some of the same things that Georg did. We’re all divorced, the lot of us. It’s like a curse or a disease catching in all the social circles. It seems like every split has had very little to do with love and everything to do with a basic need to keep evolving, to keep trying to touch forever.

    Friday Michael stole me out from under dinner with Andrew, Navi, Ryan, and Eva, and accompanied Robin and I to Thank You For Smoking instead. It was gleeful, with some damned nice moments, (there was a montage of Bad People that slaughtered us like baby seals), and led well into creeping alone up the stairs into Duello for the end of Fight Practice, a small red flower as my sword. I sat on the couch with Lee, letting him show me knife tricks, as people cleaned up and we sat for coffee until it was too late to think of going anywhere else but home. Friday nights, however, traditionally lead into mornings without work, so we survived.

    We survived well, in fact, not doing a damned thing until somewhere after two in the afternoon, until the body-call to breakfast was too deafening to ignore.