that which is whooped, shall verily be shooped. genuinely.

Award winning, dastard poet, nigh invisible roommate, and dear, dear friend, Shane Koyczan, has a show opening tonight!

365 day one hundred & five: my favourite poet

“The Vancouver East Cultural Centre commissioned Shane and Jordan to write a show. We Were Here is an exploration of memory and how the events that we carry with us shape who we become. The show will feature new work from both artists and is a cross-disciplinary, concert length collaboration that will explore not only our memories but also the ones we hope to create. Bringing together two hot young BC talents — spoken word artist Shane Koyczan and new music composer Jordan Nobles.”

This show is not to be missed. We Were Here will run for 5 nights only so you are encouraged to get tickets early. I’m going to be in attendance tomorrow evening with my mother, Vicki, and David. Who else is in?

April 7th – 11th, at the Firehall Arts Centre, (280 East Cordova St).
Tickets are available at the door, (if not sold out), through Ticketmaster, and the Vancouver East Cultural Centre:
Adults (+ s/c): Advance $26; at door $30
Students/Seniors (+ s/c): Advance $22; at door $26

how casually I enjoy nepotism (hello cirque make-up, hello feathers in my hair)

Work is freaking out today, hysterical in the face of our involvement with the Juno’s this weekend. (Seriously, they’re going ballistic). Passes are being handed out, rescinded, then handed out again. Same with business cards. “No, wait, take these ones instead.” Rounded corners, snazzy, to make it easier to slip into my bra? What? I had no idea my quiet little workplace could get so frantic, or so oddly surreal, as when I was instructed to make sure to “be nice to Nickelback”.

I’ve managed to claim two of the laminated on a lanyard passes to the Quintessential VIP Juno Awards Party tomorrow. (One for me and one for my roommate David as a birthday present.) A description I am amused by, if only because it says so on the pass, right above the cartoon red carpet covered in silver hollywood pavement stars. It should be fun. Work says I have to be pretty for maximum impact, but I know better. Some of the most beautiful women in the city will be there, so as far as I’m concerned, the pressure’s off. Let the diamonds sparkle. I’m not six two and I wasn’t designed in a wind tunnel, so I can show up in whatever I want! Screw you, heels. Screw you in the ear. I’m not going to make a fool of myself trying to pretty. I’m going to be interesting.

the dusty flowerpot cabaret is what the kids call the bomb

The Dusty Flowerpot Cabaret, makers of a magical and fantastical world,

in collaboration with

The Pivot Legal Society, purveyors of justice and equality,

present to you…

The Listening Jar.
(facebook event page)

Thursday February 26th
until Sunday, March 1st
Doors 7:00pm Show at 8:00pm
Followed by a dance party and social

Russian Hall 600 Campbell Ave. in Strathcona
Advance Tickets $16

Also available at
Pivot Legal (678 E Hastings)
$20 – $30 sliding scale at door

One performance by donation
Saturday, February 28
Doors 2:00pm, Show at 3:00pm

I’m lining up between noon and one o’clock on Saturday with treats from the Elizabeth Bakery.
Come join me for a line-up picnic! Bring sandwiches!

I’m going to the secret film club tonight, we’re showing

Cross-posted by request, via Duncan:

“I know this guy and he puts on an incredible show. Also, I’ll be guest-starring for a short portion of it. Sorry for the short notice and the expensive ticket but if you feel like catching some theater this week, this would be a good place to go.”


The Amazing and Impermeable Cromoli Brothers Present: HELLO VANCOUVER!
A Vaudeville Act for These, Our Modern Times.
Tuesday, Feb 3, 9 pm, at Performance Works

Fifteen vignettes including Heaven’s Gate Webcam, Dear Mary I’m in a Gang Now, Cover Song, Nude Beach, Pilot Talk, Olympic A Go Go and more!
Songs performed on ukulele, melodica and glockenspiel!

Winner of the BEST COMEDY award at the New Zealand International Fringe Festival
Written and performed by Lucas Myers with Special Guests

Warning: NUDE SOCK PUPPETS, META-SINCERITY, JESUS.

Me, I am poor as poor does, so I’m going to be attending the Secret Film School tonight, (which is free), where Kryshan is showing the silliest movie in existence, The Forbidden Zone. “A freak musical that manages to synthesize ingredients of virtually every other midnight hit into the cheerful consistency of bad-taste vaudeville.” -Jonathan Rosenbaum.

Here’s Kryshan’s bravely attempted description,

“Forbidden Zone is hard to describe without making it sound completely ridiculous…okay, it is completely ridiculous, but it’s the best kind of ridiculous, a one-of-a-kind act of unrestrained creativity. This guilty pleasure cult classic is about a sado-masochistic midget (Herve Villechaize from Fantasy Island) ruling an alternate dimension with Susan Tyrell (Fat City), also featuring Satan (played by composer Danny Elfman of The Simpsons, Batman, and Beetlejuice), frog men, human chandeliers, headless boys, babbling twins, Monty-Python-esque animation and a lot more weirdness where that came from. Forbidden Zone has the visionary logic (illogic?) of a Max Fleischer cartoon (meets-Tim-Burton-meets-John-Waters-meets-Betty-Boop…). It’s a midnight-movie-musical-romance-farce-science-fiction-fantasy-fairy tale-animation/live action hybrid explosion with an incredible soundtrack by Elfman’s band The Mystical Knights Of The Oingo Boingo and…okay, I’m giving up trying to describe it..

SPARK FX ’09

SPARK FX ’09
Jan 21-26

"Ten eye catching classic effects laden films, 20 fascinating speaking events and 6 fabulous days. SPARK FX 09 is bringing films like Alien, Forbidden Planet, T2: Judgment Day and Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers back to the big screen. Many will be introduced by historians and filmmakers to give you some insights into the making of these popcorn gems. On top of that Dennis Muren of ILM, Kyle Cooper of Prologue, Dr. Paul Debevec of USC and Jeff Barnes of CafeFX will be speaking at the show, as will dozens of other film, FX and games industry leaders. We’ll have panels on pipeline architectures, rendering human beings, VFX in Vancouver and why practical effects still rock. Come join us for the week at SPARK FX 09 – you’ll be sorry if you miss it!

The 7th Voyage of Sinbad JAN 21 // 7:00 pm BUY TICKETS
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl JAN 21 // 9:30 pm BUY TICKETS
Forbidden Planet JAN 22 // 7:00 pm BUY TICKETS
Alien JAN 22 // 9:30 pm BUY TICKETS
Pan’s Lanyrinth (El Laberinto del Fauno) JAN 23 // 7:00 pm BUY TICKETS
Terminator 2: Judgement Day JAN 23 // 9:45 pm BUY TICKETS
TBD JAN 24 – Check back soon!
Pleasantville JAN 25 // 7:00 pm BUY TICKETS
The Abyss JAN 25 // 10:00 pm BUY TICKETS
The City of Lost Children (La cité des enfants perdus) JAN 26 // 7:00 pm BUY TICKETS
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers JAN 21 // 9:30 pm BUY TICKETS

a satisfying week

Bill Murray has been crashing parties and hanging out with strangers.
(It could happen to you.)

Across the buildings, a slight gap in the clouds. Keith looks out and says, “oh look, a nice day.” A shift in the sky and the blue goes away. Weather whispering gray. Today it snowed briefly in a winter half effort. White flakes, fat with promise, that melted as soon as they touched ground. Now, as before, it is raining.

I’m glad my week has been wonderful enough to make up for the weather. I cried upon waking my first day back from California, mutely, pained, unhappy. “What’s wrong, what is it?” A thousand things, a hundred disappointments, ten I could say aloud, but only one to share, “There’s no sky.”

Tuesday: Finally seeing Cory McAbee‘s The American Astronaut on the big screen was absolutely fabulous. Officially Duncan was hosting it, but my involvement (with That Mike) brought me to the front of the room, answering questions as I sat beside him, swinging my legs under the table that only came up to his knees.

Wednesday: Amanda Palmer‘s show with Zoë Keating and the Australian theater company The Danger Ensemble was outrageously Off The Hook. It’s an expression I sometimes hate, but I can’t think of anything more apt. Zoë Keating was exactly as mind-bendingly glorious as expected, but Amanda Palmer raucously surprised me. Her humour and spark and pure scintillating shine blew juicy, delicious bubbles of overwhelming near-religious delight into every nook and cranny of my brain. Just like everyone else at that show, I think I now love her. It was also a great time to play catch up, as people I love were in attendance I haven’t seen in absolutely forever, like Dragos and Tall-Travis. (Also, Kyle, I said Hello for you. She was thrilled.)

Thursday: As a fluke, while waiting to get in to see Zoë & Amanda Palmer, Andrew Brechin gave David and I a free voucher to Waltz With Bashir, a strong, very personal animated documentary into the horrors of the 1982 Lebanon war. Telling the story of the 1982 Sabra-Shatila massacre of Palestinian refugees through the director’s own reclaimed memories, it was educational without preaching, and painful without guilt. At first I was skeptical of the animation style, which reminded me too strongly of old cut scenes and on-line java cartoons, but the story pulled us in, and the animation smoothed as the film continued, leaving us rapt as it drew to a close.

Tonight: There’s a Tom Waits Tribute Night at Cafe Deux Soleils from 8:30 – midnight. “a line up of the who’s who in east vancouver gather together to sing the songs of one of the most influential artists around. his world of strange wit and hard luck characters has made a home in each of our hearts. come out dressed in black, red and your fancy feel ready to sing along and stomp the floor silly.” Featuring: Blackberry Wood, Tarran the Tailor, my sweet and charming friend Jess Hill, our very own RC Weslowski, CJ Leon, Christie Rose, Chelsea Johnson of the Foxy House which hosted my birthday, Corbin Murdoch, Jeff Andrew, Buffaloswans, Maria in the Shower, Fraser Mclean, Christa Couture, Nick Lakowski, Sarah Macdougal, Pawnshop Diamond, Katie Go Go, and Mike the Swan.

Tomorrow: Our all day, all night non-denominational, costumes optional, holiday social and house party to celebrate David moving in, with crepes in the morning, tea in the afternoon, and candle-lit silent black and white horror films until dawn. (In regards to BYO: Bring your own syrup, eggs, fruit, or toppings, bring tea, cookies, or pie, bring flowers, feathers, or figs, whatever you feel appropriate, but most importantly, bring yourself.) Extra guests welcome within moderation

Bonus: Amanda playing Radiohead’s Creep on the ukulele for Kyle and Neil at the Cloud Club.

We who are about to sqelch vapidly through squamous tunes where no sanity remains salute you!

Cthulhupalooza, Saturday December 6, the Rio Theatre in Vancouver BC Canada.
Facebook event link

A pulpy, tentacled, and maddening Lovecraft Rockband fundraiser hosted by two brilliant yet malignant modern men of science, my friends Toren and Jay, with partial proceeds to Child’s Play charity, Cthulhupalooza features:

  • A very special performance by the Lovecraftian rock band The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets.
  • A Rock Band Competition with prizes from many sponsors including Harmonix and Jones Soda, as well as a chance to sing the exclusive Rock Band track “Shhh….” with The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets.
  • A screening of the silent film adaptation of the classic weird tale “The Call of Cthulhu” as produced by the HP Lovecraft Historical Society, along with other short films to be announced!

    $16 tickets for Cthulhupalooza are now available in Vancouver at: The Rio Theatre, Red Cat Records, Zulu Records, Scratch Records, Scrape Records, Neptoon Records, RX Comics, Elfsar Collection, Strategies Games, High Life, Pulp Fiction.

    Also – starting right now and valid until 11:59pm on Wednesday November 26th, Toren’s offering an unlucky $13 ticket price for Cthulhupalooza if you order through PayPal. PayPal to thickets@uniserve.com with your name and preferred contact info (this can be email or phone) and a ticket will be held for you at the Rio Theatre until you arrive!

    If you haven’t picked up your tickets yet, you should act fast, as they’re going quick! And remember, DON’T FORGET to register your band by emailing cthulhupalooza@gmail.com

    Cthulhupalooza.com!

  • fricking frack: things I hate to miss more than

    It’s that time of year again…

    12th Annual Eastside Culture Crawl
    November 21, 22, & 23

    The 2008 Crawl map.

    FRIDAY November 21st 5:00pm – 10:00pm
    SATURDAY November 22nd 11:00am – 6:00pm
    SUNDAY November 23rd 11:00am – 6:00pm

    The Eastside Culture Crawl is a free, annual 3-day arts festival that involves artists opening their doors to let the public tramp through their creative studio-spaces, (and sometimes homes), to exhibit work for sale.

    “Painters, jewelers, sculptors, furniture makers, musicians, weavers, potters, writers, printmakers, photographers, glassblowers; from emerging artists to those of international fame… these are just a sampling of the exciting talents featured during this unique chance to meet local artists in their studios.

    Purchase something that strikes your fancy, commission something to be uniquely yours, or just browse through the studios and meet the artists, learning about their specific works of art, materials and tools, approaches and techniques. This is a once a year opportunity to meet many diversely talented artists and view their creations in the studios where they work. Be part of this exciting event, which brings people from all over the Lower Mainland, and share in the imaginations that enrich our neighbourhood and lives.”

    Last year Dillon and I went to a bit of it, and it was absolutely spectacular. Almost endlessly fascinating, as every room contained an entirely new collection of art. 1000 Parker St., especially, as it has the highest concentration of artists. (Though there seems to be more paintings of crows at 1000 Parker St. than there are actual crows in a fifteen mile radius of the building itself. Go figure.) Thankfully few studios were devoted to watercolour trees or flowers, instead it was a little like coming home, exploring every room as new, colour-spattered, welcoming universe. Last year there were over 300 artists showing. This year there’s going to be more.

    It’s one of the few Vancouver events I consider unmissable, which is why it’s killing me a little that I’m not going to be in town while it’s happening. Instead I’m going to be in Seattle, and then hopefully on a plane, making my way South, towards Lung and the Salton Sea, the ecological disaster desert west outside of L.A. Take pictures, everyone. Attend, discover, and explore.

    I’m going closing night

    Some friends of ours are starring in Spectral Theater’s new play, The Velvet Edge. (Read: Duncan Shields and Erin Puckey).

    Held at The Chapel, 304 Dunlevy, the same funeral-home-now-arts-venue that the Carnival of the Arts was just at, it’s got a cast of nearly twenty, the guarantee of at least one flawlessly hot girl, Naomi’s costumes are without-fail incredible, and there’s both nudity and blood. How awesome is that?

    “An English novelist comes to an asylum to hear the story of one inmate who, after a journey into the decadent heart of 18th century France, was charged with the murder of his wife, but committed due to his presumed insanity. As the inmate recounts his bizarre and terrifying descent into debauchery and madness, the audience is drawn into the scenes of his past. Could his delusions be in fact, a terrifying reality?”

    Tickets are $20, which is steep, I know, but Duncan, who is in it and should know, claims, “This is going to be an adult theater show at adult theater prices. This isn’t schlocky horror. It cost a lot to put on and it’s a visual spectacle. It’s worth every penny of the $20. People are going to be talking about this one for a while.”

    November 5th – 6th & 8th – 15th

    Tickets $20 (minimum donation)

    Doors at 7:30 PM Show at 8:00 PM

    Written by Blake Drezet and Directed by Des Hussey & Blake Drezet

    Warning: Coarse language, scenes of violence, suggestive scenes and nudity.

    Reserve your tickets by calling 604.569.2013, e-mailing info@spectraltheatre.com or RSVP through Facebook: Nov. 5th Opening Night, Nov 6th, Nov 8th, Nov 9th, Nov 10th, Nov 11th, Nov 12th, Nov 13th, Nov 14th, Nov 15th.

    some known attendees: andrew, sara, me, david, mike levens, mike elliott, beth, ed, ryan


    Amanda Palmer
    Amanda Palmer and Zoë Keating play Vancouver

    Wednesday, Dec 10
    8:00pm – 11:30pm

    Richards On Richards
    (1036 Richards Street)
    Tickets available through Ticketmaster and Zulu Records for $12 +tax.



    Zoë Keating