Tag: art

I’m always hungry for a little more than I’ve had in life

Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.

—R.M. Rilke

I’m floating too fast to close my eyes. My skin is still scented with someone else, the edges of them sitting on a bed, handsome head in hands, hair tied in black wheat warrior knot. I feel like I could make music right now, if only I had percussion. Inside my fingers have been trying to dance to a melody that has everything to do with the sounds of breathing. When I woke up, it was afternoon and the outside world was white. Everything buried and I didn’t know where my body began in relation to this strange acquaintance. Snow and light. Snow and a hand creeping into mine, a sigh, and they turned in sleep, delineating the places where my body began and the universe ended. The dry earth can’t kill me because once again I have meaning.

  • Alleged pope incarnate excommunicated.

    I’m so sorry he didn’t get the part. Later I’ll call in the afternoon, try for a rain check on breakfast. Films are like that. It’s fickle. They drag you in to threaten the other players, they drag you in and blow your face up ten feet tall and thirty million theaters wide. I understand the inclination as much as I understand the way a teardrop tastes.

    Before that, in a few hours time, James and I will be calling Michel, finding somewhere for breakfast, and making our way to the Urban Photography Exhibit currently taking up advertising space all over the subway system. After, James will vanish off to be a psychology guinea pig for some group studying how different artists solve the same problem, and if I’m lucky, I’ll have a date for lunch. Late afternoon, Jacob and I are going to hit up the House of Architecture and the skating rink in the Old Quarter. (On Saturdays there’s a fireworks show above the ice). It feels nice to have days planned again, as if now I’m safe somehow because I’m strong enough again to pull a city around me like a blanket. The stars, they are holes I punched there myself merely by searching for them.

  • Romania shepherd finds 80 human fetuses in forest.

    It felt strange to be at a party where everyone knew about the Zombiewalk. I stumbled, uncertain how to discuss it before I threw language barriers to the wind with enthusiasm. I’m beginning to recognize that I tread every day on ground that other people could never take for granted. It’s taking me over slowly, like the realization that most of my friends tell their friends that I’m a writer. I was so very good at avoiding that particular phrase. Smacks too much of art and creation, holy things, and I am but a girl who walks through the forest at dusk, who leaves before the gods come out to play.

    • the beginning oh whoredom

    I have so much mail to reply to that it’s ridiculous. In form, it would have been half a young tree bleeding sap all over my carpet. A damaged piece of earth trailing broken roots across my kitchen and onto my desk. Printed and slippery, a texture taken for granted more than telephones. In face, it is the trappings of other hands, dancing like slow two fingered rain to flood my computer box. I can’t stop randomly smiling. I look down the other way inside me and feel a tingle flow from the soles of my feet. My world, those gods of laughter, this is the beginning of soon I’ll run.

    When I have time, I will reply to you. I promise.

    Until then, tell your friends, post it on forums:

    You can vote for both COPE and Vision as they’re not competing with each other (one runs for 19/25 seats, the other runs for 6/25). That means: night buses, actual support of four pillars drug program, cheap housing, community policing and no Wal-Mart.

    You can vote if you:

    * are 18 years of age or older
    * are a Canadian citizen
    * have lived in B.C. for at least six months
    * have lived in Vancouver for at least 30 days

    So bring ID with an address and some back-up ID. Stamped letters and parcel-wrappers are good.

    To find out where to vote, go here.
    For descriptions of all candidates in their own words, go here.

    Between my mind and my hands, my words are getting lost. They are collecting in all my joints, crackling when I move. I stretch and a paragraph shattered. Unfortunate, as I need to pretend I’m functionally literate in spite of my complete and utter lack of sleep, and whore myself out some. Because guess what? The time has come.

    Back in spring, I had the misfortune of being arrested for smashing into shards the glass door of a bus with a paper sandled foot. I, having not noticed this misfortune, continued walking home. The police car, lights flashing, was not as unexpected as the police that poured from it to pin me with handcuffs and write me a court date. The ridiculousness of the situation was not lost on me, nor the officers present. All charges were subsequently dropped. However, the broken window must still be paid for, and my time is running out. Translink have begun to call. I’m planning on a colour-in-the-increment thermometer, like we had in grade school for food drives. If anyone’s got any bright ideas, feel free to pass them along. As well, invite friends, invite family. Jacques has asked me to make a flyer image for him to hand out at his play this week. (A weary inability to focus my eyes is demanding that I do that tomorrow). If you care to perform, just give me the say so and I’ll add you to our list of entertainments.

    Jacques LaLonde and Jhayne Holmes present

    KEEP JHAYNE FROM JHAYLE

    a party of proportion

    #340 – 440 west hastings

    The Date: Friday, November 25th

    The Time: 9:00 – onward

    The Goal: $300.00

    I refuse consequence.

    Sunday : working 2 – 5pm ->> 5:30 Lori, broadway stn.
    Monday : working 5 – 8pm, Korean movie night
    Tuesday :
    Wednesday: cowboy bebop 12 – 5pm, rehearsal 6:30
    Thursday : working 2 – 9pm
    Friday : working 3 – 9pm
    Saturday : working 2 – 8pm

    “The morning mists had risen long ago, so the evening mists were rising now, and in all the broad expanse of tranquil light they showed to me, I saw no shadow of another parting me.”

    The body as a home. Every nail, chewed maybe, I do not know, is still a protection, a fine metaphor for weapon tipped fingers. Promises about an intent to future. We are our own checks and balances, our own inner ear and voice. Time will burn ripe without my having to think about it. This is a call to soft arms. My wrists, they crack under the weight of history, one hand a bracelet around bones, crack. This is a slight battle with having to go home. The foundations are iron but rusty. My attic is crawling with what nice people do and the traps I’ve laid down for them. One trick is to turn around in time to see the other person walk away without being caught. Otherwise sadness closes in, reminiscent of airports and long drawn out sighs on the street, as if everything should have changed while you were away for that last ten minutes. The best part is that trick is a lie, but an accepted one, like going home to comfort and safety. Stability deters the basic creature from improvisation, from evolving. Looking back only leaves part of your gaze behind you to drag like a sucking wake behind the sails of your coat and breaks the illusion of independence that pacing away like duelists kindly offers.

    I want to visit Iceland. It appears to me as beautiful beyond measure, as if the music born there were merely a representation of the stones and soil.

    because I forgot to say yesterday

    The always brilliant tikiking has started a new arty comic blog called my_ugly_truth:


    It’s really quite entertaining. As an aside, his stunningly adorable daughter has the same birthday as the my friend Larry does.

    For those not in the know, Larry’s the brain behind Sinister Bedfellows:



    Go give them both a one day belated happy birthday.

    this is important boys and girls

     I hope you all have read the new DeviantART submission policy. If not,  Deviant: ~GreyCarnation  highlighted a few key pointers for you. Please read on:

    — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

    This agreement (“Agreement”) is a legal agreement between you, either an individual artist or the legal authorized representative of a group artist (“Artist”), and deviantART Inc., a California limited liability company (“deviantART”), regarding uploading certain of Artist’s audio, visual, audiovisual and other materials (the “Artist Materials” defined below) to the deviantART.com website or any successor(s) thereto and/or assigns thereof (the “deviantART Site(s)”) and deviantART’s use of such materials. If Artist is agreeing on behalf of a group artist or a group of artists to be bound by the terms of this Agreement, each reference to “Artist” in this Agreement refers to each member of the group or the group as a whole, as applicable. For good and valuable consideration, the receipt and sufficiency of which are hereby acknowledged, the parties hereto hereby agree (and ratify past submissions) as follows:
    1. Term. The term (“Term”) of this Agreement shall commence on the date that the “Artist Materials” (defined below) are initially uploaded to any deviantART Site(s) and shall continue thereafter until either Artist or deviantART terminates this Agreement in writing, with or without cause. To the extent this Agreement is terminated by Artist, the rights granted hereunder shall terminate only after Artist has removed all of Artist’s Materials from the deviantART Site(s), and deviantART has received notice of such removal. If this Agreement is terminated by deviantART, this Agreement will terminate upon deviantART’s removal of Artist’s materials from the deviantART website. In connection with any such termination of this Agreement, the parties agree to cooperate in providing an orderly termination of their relations.
    2. Ownership. Artist shall at all times retain all right, title and interest in and to the Artist Materials provided by Artist hereunder (including, without limitation, the copyrights therein and thereto), subject to the non-exclusive rights granted to deviantART under this Agreement. Artist is free to grant similar rights to others during and after the Term of this Agreement. For the avoidance of doubt, when Artist uploads Artist Materials to the deviantART Site(s), Artist acknowledges that third parties may use the Artist Materials as described herein.
    3. License. to Use Artist Materials. Artist hereby grants to deviantART a worldwide, royalty-free, non-exclusive license to do the following things during the Term:
    1. to prepare and encode Artist Materials, or any portion thereof for digital transmission, manipulation and exhibition in any format and by any means now known or hereafter devised;
    2. to display, copy, reproduce, exhibit, publicly perform, broadcast, rebroadcast, transmit, retransmit, distribute through any electronic means (including analog and digital), and electronically publish any or all of the Artist Materials, including any portion thereof, and to include them in compilations for such purposes, by any and all means and media now known or hereafter devised (for avoidance of doubt, the rights granted to deviantART hereunder include the rights to make Artist Materials available on deviantART Site(s), third-party websites and electronic devices);
    3. to modify, adapt, change or otherwise alter the Artist Materials (e.g., change the size) and use the Artist Materials as described in Section 3(b); and
    4. the right to sublicense to any third party any of the foregoing rights in the Artist Materials, or any part or element thereof, subject to the terms and conditions of this Agreement.
    5. Artist hereby disclaims any and all right, title, or interest in any and all material with which Artist Materials may be combined or into which all or any portion of Artist Materials may be incorporated. As used in this Agreement, the term “Artist Materials” means Artist’s name(s) (including professional names), trademarks, trade names, likenesses, photographs, biographical materials, artwork, liner notes, and other graphical or textual materials that Artist uploads to deviantART, and any and all “skins,” computer-generated images or other artwork or images that Artist submits to deviantART.
    4. Name and Likeness. Artist hereby grants to deviantART:
    1. a perpetual, worldwide, royalty-free , non-exclusive license to use Artist’s name(s), group name, photograph and/or likeness(es) and biographical materials in connection with the distribution, exploitation, promotion, marketing and advertising of the Artist Materials, and the deviantART Site(s)as described hereunder, during the Term;
    2. Artist also agrees not to assert any privacy, publicity, moral or similar rights held by Artist (and on behalf any other person(s) whose name(s), photographs and/or likeness(es) and/or performances are embodied in the Artist Materials, Artist agrees that such persons shall not assert of any privacy, publicity, moral or similar rights) under the laws of the United States and any other country in connection with the exploitation of such materials as described hereunder; and,
    3. To the extent that the Artist Materials contain the name(s), group name, photograph and/or likeness(es) and biographical materials of any other person, Artist hereby grants to deviantART a perpetual, worldwide, royalty-free, non-exclusive license to use the foregoing in connection with the distribution, exploitation, promotion, marketing and advertising of the Artist Materials, as described hereunder, during the Term.
    5. Payment Unless otherwise agreed between Artist and deviantART in a writing signed by both parties, the license granted to deviantART pursuant to this Agreement shall be royalty-free.
    6. Representations and Warranties. Artist represents and warrants that:
    1. Artist has the full right and power to enter into and perform this Agreement and to grant deviantART all rights to use the Artist Materials as contemplated in this Agreement, including, without limitation, the license grants in Sections 3 and 4,
    2. Artist has secured all necessary third-party consents, rights, licenses and permissions, if any, required in order for Artist to enter into and perform this Agreement and to grant deviantART all rights to use the Artist Materials as contemplated in this Agreement (including, without limitation, consents and permissions from owners of any elements that are used in the Artist Materials),
    3. the Artist Materials (and deviantART’s use thereof as contemplated under this Agreement) do not and will not infringe on any rights of any third party, including any trademark, copyright, patent, trade secret, right of privacy or publicity or moral rights of any third party,
    4. all information that Artist has provided or will provide to deviantART is true and complete,
    5. the Artist Materials do not and will not violate any law, statute, ordinance or regulation,
    6. the Artist Materials do not and will not be defamatory, libelous, threatening, pornographic, obscene, harmful to minors, violations of child pornography or child sexual exploitation laws,
    7. the Artist Materials do not and will not contain any viruses or other programming routines that may detrimentally interfere with computer systems or data, whether those of deviantART or any third party, and
    8. if Artist or any member of Artist’s group is a minor, Artist hereby warrants that Artist has the legal right to execute this Agreement on behalf of the minor artist and guarantee such person’s performance of the terms of this Agreement. These warranties shall survive any termination of this Agreement.
    7. Third Party Payments. Artist shall be responsible for all licensing, reporting and payment obligations of any kind to third parties in connection with the Artist Materials.
    8. Indemnity. Artist agrees to defend, indemnify, reimburse and hold deviantART and its parent, subsidiary and affiliated entities, and its and their members, managers, officers, directors, representatives, employees, agents, successors, designees, licensees, sublicensees and assigns harmless from and against any and all liability, loss, damages, judgments, costs and expenses (including reasonable attorney’s fees, costs and expenses and court costs) arising out of or related to:
    1. Artist’s use of the deviantART Site(s);
    2. any breach or alleged breach of Artist’s representations and warranties and/or any breach, alleged breach or violation of the notices, terms and conditions hereof; and
    3. Artist’s violation or alleged or threatened violation of any rights of a third party, including, without limitation, any trademark, copyright, patent, trade secret, right of privacy or publicity or moral rights of any third party, arising from the submission and/or use of Artist Materials as contemplated hereunder.
    9. deviantART’s Performance. Artist acknowledges and agrees that the operation of the deviantART Site(s) may from time to time encounter technical or other problems and may not necessarily continue uninterrupted or without technical or other errors and deviantART shall not be responsible to Artist or others for any such interruptions, errors or problems or an outright discontinuance of the deviantART service. There are no assurances whatsoever that any of the Artist Materials or any part or element thereof shall actually be utilized on the deviantART Site or if so utilized continue to be available for any particular time. deviantART has the right, in deviantART’s sole and absolute discretion, to remove from the deviantART Site(s) at any time the Artist Materials or any part thereof and/or to revoke any sublicense granted by deviantART to any affiliate or unaffiliated third party. Notwithstanding the foregoing, deviantART does not control the content of the Artist Materials and does not have any obligation to monitor such content for any purpose. Artist acknowledges that Artist is solely responsible for all content submitted to the deviantART Site(s). The deviantART Site may be discontinued at any time, with or without reason.
    10. No Warranty. TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT PERMITTED BY APPLICABLE LAW, DEVIANTART DISCLAIMS ALL WARRANTIES, EITHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
    1. UNINTERRUPTED OR CONTINUOUS AVAILABILITY OF THE DEVIANTART SITE, AND
    2. IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, AND NONINFRINGEMENT WITH RESPECT TO THE DEVIANTART SITE AND ANY SERVICES PROVIDED BY DEVIANTART HEREUNDER. IN ADDITION, ALTHOUGH DEVIANTART INTENDS TO TAKE REASONABLE STEPS TO PREVENT THE INTRODUCTION OF VIRUSES OR OTHER DESTRUCTIVE MATERIALS TO THE DEVIANTART SITE(S), AND WHETHER OR NOT DEVIANTART IMPLEMENTS THE AFOREMENTIONED REASONABLE PROTECTIONS, DEVIANTART DOES NOT WARRANT THAT THE DEVIANTART SITE(S), ANY PART THEREOF, OR ANY INFORMATION OR OTHER MATERIAL ACCESSIBLE THROUGH THE DEVIANTART SITE(S) IS FREE OF VIRUSES, WORMS, TROJAN HORSES OR OTHER HARMFUL COMPONENTS.
    11. No Liability for Third Party Use. DEVIANTART DISCLAIMS ALL RESPONSIBILITY AND LIABILITY FOR ANY THIRD-PARTY USE OF THE ARTIST MATERIALS MADE AVAILABLE ON THE DEVIANTART WEBSITE BY THE ARTISTPURSUANT TO THE TERMS OF THIS AGREEMENT. ARTIST SHALL BE SOLELY RESPONSIBLE FOR SEEKING RELIEF FOR ANY UNAUTHORIZED USE OF ARTIST MATERIALS BY A THIRD-PARTY, AND NOT FROM DEVIANTART. THIS MEANS, AMONG OTHER THINGS, THAT IF ANOTHER PERSON OBTAINS ARTIST MATERIALS FROM DEVIANTART (WHETHER OR NOT WITH DEVIANTART’S PERMISSION), AND USES THOSE MATERIALS IN A WAY NOT AUTHORIZED PURSUANT TO THE LICENSES GRANTED HEREUNDERARTIST WILL SEEK REDRESS FROM THE OTHER PERSON AND NOT FROM DEVIANTART, AND THAT ARTIST WILL NOT HOLD DEVIANTART RESPONSIBLE OR LIABLE FOR SUCH UNAUTHORIZED USE.
    12. Exclusion of Damages. TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT PERMITTED BY APPLICABLE LAW, IN NO EVENT (INCLUDING NEGLIGENCE) SHALL DEVIANTART, ITS OFFICERS, DIRECTORS, MEMBERS, PARENTS, AFFILIATES, SUBSIDIARIES, LICENSEES, ASSIGNS, SUCCESSORS, AGENTS, REPRESENTATIVES, EMPLOYEES OR LICENSORS BE LIABLE FOR ANY DAMAGES WHATSOEVER (INCLUDING, WITHOUT LIMITATION, DAMAGES ARISING OUT OF AN ACTION UNDER CONTRACT, NEGLIGENCE OR ANY OTHER THEORY AND DAMAGES FOR LOSS OF BUSINESS PROFITS, BUSINESS INTERRUPTION, LOSS OF BUSINESS INFORMATION, OR OTHER PECUNIARY LOSS, INCIDENTIAL DAMAGES, CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES, PUNITIVE DAMAGES, EXEMPLARY DAMAGES), WHETHER OR NOT DEVIANT ART HAS BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGE, ARISING OUT OF OR IN CONNECTION WITH THIS AGREEMENT OR THE USE OR PERFORMANCE OF THE DEVIANTART SITE(S). IN NO EVENT SHALL DEVIANTART’S TOTAL LIABILITY TO ARTIST UNDER THIS AGREEMENT FROM ALL CAUSES OF ACTION AND UNDER ALL THEORIES OF LIABILITY EXCEED $5. THE PARTIES ACKNOWLEDGE AND AGREE THAT DEVIANTART HAS ENTERED INTO THIS AGREEMENT IN RELIANCE ON THE LIMITATIONS OF LIABILITY SPECIFIED HEREIN, WHICH ALLOCATE THE RISK BETWEEN ARTIST AND DEVIANTART, AND FORM THE BASIS OF THE BARGAIN BETWEEN THE PARTIES..
    13. Copyright and Trademark Notices. deviantART, the deviantART logos and mascots, and the layout and design of the deviantART Site(s), among other marks that may appear on the deviantART Site(s) are trademarks of deviantART Inc., LLC (the “deviantART Marks”). Other trademarks and service marks on the deviantART Site(s) may be the property of the advertisers, content partners and/or providers, or other third parties. Artist may not use any of the deviantART Marks without deviantART’s prior written permission, and Artist may not use any third-party marks without the third party’s prior written permission.
    14. Miscellaneous.
    1. Governing Law; Jurisdiction. THIS AGREEMENT SHALL BE GOVERNED IN ALL RESPECTS BY THE LAWS OF THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA WITHOUT REGARD TO ITS OR ANY OTHER JURISDICTION’S CONFLICT OF LAWS PRINCIPLES. THE SOLE VENUE AND JURISDICTION FOR DISPUTES ARISING FROM THIS AGREEMENT SHALL BE THE APPROPRIATE STATE OR FEDERAL COURT LOCATED IN LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA, AND ARTIST AND DEVIANTART BOTH IRREVOCABLY AGREE TO SUBMIT TO THE JURISDICTION OF SUCH COURTS.
    2. Assignment. deviantART shall have the right to assign this Agreement in whole or in part to any person or business entity. Artist may not assign Artist’s rights or delegate Artist’s obligations under this Agreement without the prior written consent of deviantART.
    3. Notice. All notices, requests and other communications (“Communications”) under this Agreement must be in writing and sent to deviantART Inc., LLC, PSC 473 Box 127, FPO AP, 96349-1800, ATTN: Legal Department. Communications shall be deemed received:
    i. for Communications sent by registered or certified mail, postage prepaid, return receipt requested or by Federal Express or other reputable overnight courier service, on the date of receipt or refusal as indicated on the return receipt;
    ii. for Communications sent by personal delivery, on the date of personal delivery; and
    iii. for Communications sent by facsimile, upon transmission subject to telephone confirmation of receipt.
    -No other form of notice shall be accepted under this Agreement.
    4. Entire Agreement. This Agreement sets forth the entire understanding and agreement of Artist and deviantART as to the subject matter hereof and supersedes all prior proposals, discussions or agreements (oral and written) with respect to such subject matter.
    5. Modification. deviantART reserves the right to amend the terms of this Agreement from time to time in its sole discretion. deviantART shall notify Artist of any material changes to this Agreement by sending an email to the address listed in Artist’s account. If Artist continues to upload Artist materials after being notified of the changes to the Agreement, Artist will be deemed to have accepted those changes and the new terms of the Agreement shall govern all prior and future submissions of Artist Materials. If Artist does not accept the new terms of the Agreement, Artist’s sole and exclusive remedy shall be to terminate this Agreement. Otherwise, this Agreement may be changed only by a writing signed by both parties that specifically refers to the parties’ intent to amend this Agreement.
    6. Survival. The provisions of Sections 1, 3(e), 4(b) 5, 6, 7, 8, 10, 11, 12, 13, and 14 shall survive any termination of this Agreement. In addition, any sublicenses granted to third parties for the display of Artist Materials on electronic devices pursuant to Section 3 shall survive any termination of this Agreement.

    — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

    and considering the state of devArt
    [link]

    I don’t know how much longer I can stay here. I take my work very seriously.

    Please post links to this journal in your own if you care about Artists’ Rights.

    UPDATE:

    just directed to [link] by ~r3s3nt, so apparently, some shit has already gone down. Please read, if you take your art seriously.

    UPDATE:

    the latest journal [link] by $spyed (this is apparently, a rebuttal). They, DeviantART, say it’s all in our best interest, and they’re not looking to do anyone any harm. I say, read the new submission policy/agreement and decide for yourself.

    UPDATE:

    legal know-how from *afterchain : [link]
    Please read this one, as well.

    you can see the changes


    jhayne silver curve
    Originally uploaded by Foxtongue.

    My house is divided. One night, two evenings, three days, four fingers, five. A hand without you, counted every time the sun goes down and terrified of my heart. Another night, another day, that’s two more. Arithmetic on my body. My shadow on fire, blazing something tired and nameless whenever I close my eyes and don’t hear your voice. Haunted by more words than I can encompass without looking into your eyes, by letters unwritten in every pore of my skin that remember your lips. I’m not sleeping so well. Instead I dream of stars, painful pointillist versions of a city I’ve never been to, haven’t seen pictures of. Fire on top of pillars. It’s all under the same moon, I tell myself, the words like a broken bridge tumbling into a river in slow motion. Instead my eyes sting with the splinters of roses and I imagine a painful sprouting of wings from my back. Dark feathers to take me away from here.

    My fingernails are long again, white crescents I could place in the sky. I would offer to prostitute my soul if it meant that I would be able to create exquisitely as Alessandro Bavari does. His art is enchanting, captivating my eyes to the exclusion of time. I look outside and the warm air’s been pulled out over the ocean, taking the light with it like a blanket to tuck in the other side of the world.

    edit: a re-write for lj user inktea

    dry skill


    zeigfeld – ruby deremer
    Originally uploaded by Foxtongue.

    Draw a line. Draw another. Connect the two with a side swipe of the pencil. Eventually a picture will form, I am told, like shapes in clouds. After hideous amounts of dreary practice, I have come to the conclusion that I lack the skill. My lines become crawling scribbles which if they are animals should receive a final benediction. When I was younger, my inflicted punishment was art classes. My mother wanted to raise me to be an artist, (actually, no, an Artist, can’t forget the capital A.), and so put me into a program of anything that might take me. I kneaded my way through sculpture, spun my way through pottery, orated Antigone, stained my clothing painting and incessantly got my hands in the frame in an animation class.

    My mother, of course, loved everything I made.

    Now I’m left wondering how much of it has survived, tucked away in file folders, hidden in her papers like squirreled away nuts of a particularly bitter flavour. The only attribute found shining in the dust has been my practically useless ability to create three dimensional structures without reference. The classic example being lanterns. I can make practically anything you like. (Once a tesseract construct was almost accomplished, but the material wouldn’t stand up to it). But, the inevitable, you have to tell me what to create. I don’t have the creativity to think of more than basic tattoo shapes, little figures of people or winged hearts.

    I wonder sometimes if I’m a disappointment to anyone else. Bred a gypsy, I’m supposed to be creative and imaginative and bright, and yet I don’t find any of it within me. Instead I apparently wander around being different. I’m serious, lacking a basic understanding of being silly, and there’s no spark to light a precious grin of recognition from people who carry that enviable madness my homeless life tried so hard to sink into me. I want to start meeting people whose parents wanted them to be doctors and lawyers and accountants. I want to see if the feeling matches up, the mean aura of self-annoyance.

    Somebody give me something to riff off of? Please, somebody implant some ideas. I am a waiting garden.

    buckwheat hair, I hide it well

    Oxygen gasps, skin taut. That’s what I’m thinking of. I landed on the surface homeless and running. Check your balance, I thought, check your stride. It was a pun. Before this hundred pace book begins, I need to smile hard and develop a quick will. It might take an entire month to write this all out in human paper. Thirty days and a trip around the moon. A hot air example of summertime blues.

    My stylus is scratching sound from a round disc of specially pressed memory, those old black things, before your time, I’m sure, but brought back into being by the trendy Ibiza boys, those Edinburgh saints of groove. Voice replies, back and forth. I wonder if I’ll ever get a telephone call, a crunched machine echo of a warm lovely taste synthesized as pleasure. Sixty cycles deep electric, an instrument of more than torture.

    There’s an ease to this I missed. A glitter burst of putting words down. They don’t have to mean anything except to me. I fill my time with love letters, tiny particles of bits and bytes dreaming of a future where I can touch the sky and the stars are known to have planets it’s possible to visit. Recording everything would be impossible, but it doesn’t mean I don’t want to try. Stand on the lip of a seascape breeze and teach you all the meaning of that particular colour blue to the first people to have ever told a story about it. Photographs and moving pictures, add sound and protect the world by showing it off. Explaining why Barrakka beauty should be seen by more than art degrees. Spell out the memes of historical creation and cultural division.

    Imagine a downloadable scrap of earth. A television history-scape of depth and vision with an insertable tactile interface. Install the ability to blink and hear the local traffic, the crowd sounds of a multitude of conversation. Even this little office would be of interest to somebody. A man in a net cafe somewhere over a tiny street, it’s late at night and he misses the lights that streetlights used to bring before someone went through with a gun and shot them all down, he might want to see me typing this. He might like to look out the window to my right and see an entirely new kind of tree or to my left and examine a production facility. The lack of pollution erosion is fascinating. The pink of the ice-cream shop is too garish, however, and so he flips to a woman making dinner in an outdoor market, somewhere arabic where he doesn’t speak the language. It could be a spelled end to destruction. In a optimistic view, the phrases in language would change. The media would drop it’s fear propaganda, unable to explain anymore that difference means danger. We would all be press students, members in an underground club that might even have it’s own secret handshake.