Author: foxtongue

White Pebble Day

Yesterday was so nice.
I’m happy today. It’s neat.

loving time with the Aubreylove,
rid of the brotherchild Robin,
a party even was visited!

an amusing moment was being dropped off in a shiny black convertable while the yokels across the street, (whom call us freaks), stopped in thier tracks to watch. *grins*

I haven’t been to a parrty in AGES. I feel vaguely sad that I found out later that I could have stayed longer. A phonecall arrived soon after I left the house which has delayed our trip a day, so I could have stayed as long as I’d wanted to and got home around midnight or one. *sadface* But it was alright the way it turned out. Had a lovely dinner. Had a finally-we’re-talking-about-this talk with the Love. Had a satisfiable evening. *grins* (Satisfiable? *laughs at self*)

I was wound up when I got home. People. Wow. I spent time with PEOPLE! Real ones! That I didn’t have to type to talk to!! *awe* And they were some of my favorite fleshies too… I sang the happy doom song for an hour straight.

Today I am going to surprise the love by bringing him to the bright scarlet red buckyball eiffel tower I found.

notes:
his name is dan. (Hi dan! *hugs you*).
there are grr toys. must get a grr toy.

one ay em – In Depth – I am caught

one ay em
I am tired and alone, sitting here at one a.m. The distant sounds of teenagers across the street does little to cheer me. I wish to be in bed with you, dreaming, and asleep, but more time will have to pass. You claim to have taken the steps neccesary to erase me from your life. I believe you, though it hurts like nothing else. I must tread carefully now through your intricate, unacknowledged web of rules. I feel erased already.

Invisible.

=======

I’m going to assume it’s the last bit that leads to confusion for it seems to me that the beginning of the piece is quite straightforward.

I must tread carefully now through your intricate, unacknowledged web of rules. I feel erased already.

Think of a spiders web, delicate and invisible. Think on what happens to the fly who is ensnared.

Saying that I feel erased already is revealing that I feel I am not nimble enough in my mind to survive. It doesn’t matter what I say or what I do, the spider will have me. Hence – invisibility. I am here, but I am innefectual. I will be erased though it is what I fear most.

one ay em

I am tired and alone, sitting here at one a.m. The distant sounds of teenagers across the street does little to cheer me. I wish to be in bed with you, dreaming, and asleep, but more time will have to pass. You claim to have taken the steps neccesary to erase me from your life. I believe you, though it hurts like nothing else. I must tread carefully now through your intricate, unacknowledged web of rules. I feel erased already.

Invisible.

The Door Knocked For the Roomate Last Night

I’m sore and depressed and tired today. My friend Chris, sorry, James, re-appeared in my life yesterday, with the added bonus that he needs somewhere to live. I so so excited. I loves the idea to bits. One problem – the berloody guy we promised the room to actually showed up at one a.m. after vanishing off the face of the earth a week and a half ago…

He’s moving in today.

*cries*

Missing Persons

*am dancing*

One of my missing people has been discovered! My personal mythology has one less gap in it’s history.
Christopher, the whimsical computer lord, hath been found!
(Or rather, he hath found me!)
And solved the roomate situation, in one, may I dare say it? Fell swoop.

Missing Persons:

Charles Pascual
Douglas Forbes aka Crow
-thought to be in the Fraser & 41st area
Gavin, painter, clown, & human siamese
-thought to be in Calgary, {GreenFools??}

I’m going now to count pennies until they add up to busfare.

Pretty Pretentious People in Black

Would anyone be up for Sanctuary this Sunday? I’m planning on dragging a suberban yuppie (through no fault of his own), friend down to, um, expand his horizons. Yeaaah. Culture, that’s it.
ANYHOO – it would be lovely to go down and actually have people’s company to enjoy, (rather than going down to be surrrounded by pretty pretentious people in black – lol).

the lack of a roomate situatoin

I’m waiting to hear back from the Marshall fellow. Claims that money has been sent have occured, though according to Western Union, the man doesnae exist. I cannae ken what he’s up to, but perhaps we’ll find out if he gets here.

-trying to explain away depression –

I lay awake last night, I’d said something in jest that had hurt him. I wasn’t expecting it. The sort of thing where at the end of the evening, someone turns to you and says, you really ruined my time by saying X, and you stop hurt in wonder that X would have been taken harmfully.

-we seem to have a lot of these –

Mail arrived today from Toronto. Apparently I have an account with the royal bank there. I suppose my grandmother opened it for me to cash my paychecks in when I worked there. I’m wondering if I should close it or leave it be. Either option seems like effort somehow wasted. I am happy that I can still be surprised. Be reminded of that golden summer of lightning and love.

-and rooftops bathed in orange light-

I talked with him the other day, my ontario demon with the redblack hair. That flashing amber eyed musician with the purple soul. Memories crackling with contentment.

-in a van, between the seats, crying-

TRUE STORY
on the bus: three men wearing stained work clothes sit on the very back seat as a woman enters. She sits in a seat facing at 90 degrees. She is wearing colourful clothing.
man 1: yeah – the match was okee, couldda done better thoough. Lost some offa Robbie.
man 3: Lost some offa Robbie? Feck that, you shoulden give it to em.
The woman opens a book.
man 2: Looka that.
man 1: Whare?
man 2: That girl – she’s gotta book open.
man 3: Reading – hah – ruins a woman if you givum a book.
man 1: Yah – wouldn’t let my woman read. Just wrecks em.

-I am ruined-