Author: foxtongue

I love this man and I don’t even know him yet

I met this lovely lad named Ethan at SinCity this month and we’ve been exchanging letters. Well – I’ve been sending sad little lame things because I haven’t any access to my own berloody puter and so write things quickly when   isn’t really home or in the shower of cooking or something, and he’s been sending me beautiful essays. ANYWAYS, there’s a little snippert I thought I would share because it’s great.

Today I was reading the warning instructions on the back of my heating pad.
(It’s been a LONG couple of days; thank God for Humphrey Bogart movies.)
These instructions are prettymuch put there so stupid people can’t sue them,
and can be summarized as “Don’t use this heating pad for any of the purposes
for which people might ever actually want to use a heating pad.”  This I am
used to; it insures that no matter what goes wrong, they can say they told
you not to do that.  However, these guys had one additional clause to take
care of that particularly clever sort of stupid person who uses the product
for something completely nonsensical and THEN sues.  Like, I don’t know,
trying to eat it.  The clause read – I shit you not – “Do not use in oxygen
atmosphere”.  Great.  So now I have to go to outer-freakin’-space and THEN
try to eat the pad before I can sue them.

 

the serious moonlight

 I’ve actually been packing and I was brought three large boxes that I entirely filled with books. Importanty Books, Hardover, and Less Importanty Books. I have far too many books. Sci-Fi, philosophy and some fantasy. Mostly Sci-Fi though.

I think I would be a happier person if it weren’t for Sci-Fi. Cause now I want to see what’s next. Being here now isn’t good enough. We’re just BEGINNING to have technology that’s worth something, you know? I want to be a Listener. I want to have every moment recorded and passed along the internet. I want there to not be countries proper, I want there to be genmod as a regular occurance, I want there to be people on other planets.  I want to SEE IT! Cause we’ll get there. Some approximation, right? Maybe not like anything we’ve ever written about it, but that won’t matter,. It will be here. There. And I won’t get to be there. I’m stuck here, where there’s people who are scared of computers, who believe in religion, who look down on people who read, who beilve in astrology and not basic science. We are the start. We are the first. I want to see… Ah well. Whatever.

life, don’t talk to me of it, I know it not

I wandered today in my mind to the beach. I watch the waves at sand and felt the hard wall against the soles of my feet. I dreamed about you last night. All of you. I went to the City and lived in sun: my eyes filled with gold.

Today I rediscovered a book I wrote in when I was fifteen. There’s a sixteen page section of multi-flavoured line thought. As many random facts as I could think of, trying, I suppose, for automatic writing. Scintillatingly private thoughts, blurred together, reminding me who I was then.  Another person would need a guide to read them. Some of it is hilarious.

It’s all about people.

Where is my angel now? He had golden hair then, it glittered as he moved. I think now he’s scared of me. Not a pity. It meant so much to me and so little to him. Liar. Perfect swirl of everything. The day I baked my feet playing hacky-sack in the back alley behind the house.

Gavin I miss you.

books and books and books and books and other books

I was running so behind today. I felt terrible.   came all the way from his place to bring boxes and spend time, and my job interview went for way too long and I ran for a bus and missed it then had to wait for the next one who then kicked everyone off cause of some damnded teenagers and I was almost an hour late and I finallly made it the house and there were boxes on the porch. *wails*

I felt so damned awful it was amazing I could breathe.

I am blessed to have such friends.