Author: foxtongue

everything’s complex

I thought about blingforjesus today while I was going through photographs. I have the Cranberries on loud and it’s like I’m alone in the apartment. Theturtlemoves is in the other room working on my computer as I deal with the rude children.

And in the night, I could be helpless
I could be lonely, sleeping without you.
And in the day, everything’s complex
There’s nothing simple, when I’m not around you.

But, I miss you when you’re gone.

sweetness, that’s you, so let’s dance all alone

In my throat is tickling with the thick taste of your scent.  It catches in my breath and pulls at me from the inside.

I put on some make-up
Turn on the tape deck
And put the wig back on my head
Suddenly I’m Miss Midwest Midnight Checkout Queen
Until I head home
And I put myself to bed

I love how innapropriate the music is I listen to for the childrens chat I’m modding.

You’re caught on my fingers, trapped by my flesh.

so this is doubt

I’m listening to Bill Murray singing More Than This from the Lost In Translation soundtrack and it makes me sad in that grinning way that I felt through the whole film.

Identity lost and found.

I’ll root through the box someday and find that painting of a blue cat that was on the wall of the apartment when we first made love.

Z? says:

“and since when did water vapour require pity.”

Dare I say I love that dearly?

I felt my first actual moment of doubt a few days ago. Bill and I were trespassing across the waterway to the walkway we shouldn’t be. There was no water crashing, no H2O impeding progress. We had to jump onto the waters path and walk across with another jump. I couldn’t do the second flick of feet. I started and then stopped. The strangest feeling. Like fear, but not quite. Utterly new and open and strange.

I didn’t like it.