After spending a lovely day wtih Jenn, I ran into Bill on my way to the Poetry VS musicians thing at Cafe Du Soliex. I was walking with Robin and he was at J.J. Bean talking with someone I vaguely recognize as a local sound tech. I smiled to see him but he wouldn’t let me touch him. Ah well. C’est La Vie. I’m not angry and there’s not a lot of hurt left to tweak, so whatever. Jenn’s responce to hearing about the phonecall was “You are the ONLY woman alive who wouldn’t be angry at this, but glad to hear from him.” I wish dearly that we were alone when we met though, I might have just been cruel for the laughter I could get out of it. I don’t think I’m the ONLY person, but I do think I may be the only one to think for a flash second of using our past sexual experiences as a serves-you-right weapon.
Walking back home after I tried to return Jacques’ things and get my own back, but there was only a note on the door saying that if I liked, I was welcome to wait inside. Instead, I flipped the note over, wrote a reply and kept walking. He found me not two blocks from Venebles. I fell asleep during the movie. Fairly certain I made it at least halfway. I returned this morning to another letter.
Hey J.
I’ll just add to the clutter for a bit more and then I’ll blow town and let you or whoever this is get back to whatever.
A twenty year ‘constant’ effort to contact you has transformed into some form of violence toward me … each and every time. This is going to be my last effort to get through to my kids. I just think that it’s seriously important to target the huge degree of violence surrounding you as I can no longer remain in hiding and I’m coming out and going public. I don’t have that much lifetime left … ya know? I’ve spent my time studying computer animation, video editing, soft synths (that would make Terry’s $5000 Korg Trinity look like a Casio toy, etc. … If I’m just up against another Genocide joke, well there’s nothing more I can do. I can produce documentaries about Canadian Genocide and include my personal situation. It will include you and everybody that has had anything to do with you as publicity grows. (Hence, it would be to your best interests to become properly informed of these circumstances) As far as I have been able to achieved anything with my children, I have to just contend that they have been killed by their kidnappers and their Canadian Genocide support. All been stolen with Religious and Government encouragement through the years. I had my first child at age 13 with my Art teacher/school secretary. I don’t even know if it was a boy or girl. I guess I can only be thankful they didn’t kill us. I probably have around 50 kids. ??? That’s why I spent so much time teaching women – they were always everywhere.
Documentaries is all I can do to get back into the arts and warn you and my other children of the vicious circumstances that have befallen you. I get to occupy myself with a lot of artist involvement as well as assert humanitarian qualities … the essence of art that Vicki will never grasp … that’s why she has to kidnap an audience … I was getting calls from people a dozen years after I had severed all connections with her and they were complaining to me about how pathetic and ridiculous she sounded when she plays. I guess it’s my fault alright, I was the only thing in the Universe who would have even gone near her in a whole lifetime. She doesn’t understand that you can’t hide anything behind art. No matter how much dressing she tries to put on it, all she really has to say is ‘I hate musicians and want to kill their kids’. The whole country knows it. She’s so far behind she thinks she’s first.
I don’t have the time and space to elaborate here but people have been trying to kill me all my life simply because I’m talented. There was always a huge lineup of girls everywhere I went. I’ve been shot from behind by a cop – just for fun – he got kicked off the force – duh – can you imagine if it was the other way around? … rammed off the road at highway speeds – car was totally demolished – friend of local cop – different town – unable to complain. bal bla etc etc etc
The simple fact that your even alive indicates to me that you have been denied any kind of talent development and hopefully the boys share your demented fate. It’s all that could be achieved considering the people. I would really like to see you take an interest in hearing other peoples points of view besides the hate programming you’ve been subject to for twenty years. This profiling that Vicki does is not something that evolved over time … it’s exactly what she showed up with before I even arrived. Nothing can penetrate it. I tried because I’m tired of idiots trying to kill talented people and she was a perfect specimen. If I didn’t try, no one was ever going to take it on. I am noted as such a good teacher that I turned down 2 Canadian university offers to come and teach in my mid twenties. Not even her own children rate a single concern for anything but hate. I simply cannot fathom where it comes from but their whole family seems to share it and she has no problem finding idiots to help her.
I’m outa time and gotta run again. I’ll supply you with a little more encouragement but if you are truly a Gibson it will be pointless to think you could ever be concerned about anything. Ta
Danny
I wonder if he’s in the phonebook again because I would feel safer if I had his address. Someday I’ll run through my memories of growing up with severe violence. Dad having conversations with other people who weren’t there, whipping himself into a frothing frenzy at the cruel things they said to him. Telling me about the visions he’d have. Faces floating through space and talking to him, telling him the secrets of the universe. Silva once told me about how she found him crying one day years ago. “What will I do once I’m no longer young and good-looking?” I remember he never touched me, never hurt me, but sometimes mum was not colours skin should be. I put antiseptic on his bites where she couldn’t reach sometimes, where the teeth had broken through the skin.