Warning: Contains kinderwhores.

A nine year old girl in Peru won a television station contest where she got to star in a remake of her favourite music video. Unsurprisingly, she chose a Britney Spears video, Toxic.

9 year old Toxic

As a refresher, the original video.
Behind the Scenes video, (spanish). Backstage video.
Photos of her at her kinderwhore television job.

Once you get past the initial shock, as polarizing as stumbling upon a beauty pageants for kids, I think it’s a powerful statement, however unintentional on her part or that of her parents or the people who helped put it together. (Consider how many people must have been involved. Location, make-up, the teeny tiny wardrobe, cameras, post, etc. It’s more than just a few.) A significant number of comments criticize the video and her parents shouting child abuse, exploitation, and paedophilia, but very few have asked why this video appealed to her in the first place, why it’s normal now for children to be worshiping hyper sexualized pop tarts, a much deeper, dirtier manipulation, shameful yet largely ignored. The questions that should be asked are nastier, “since when did we start marketing Sex Sells to those under twelve? Why are teenagers our sex symbols and prostitots now just a matter of course?” Bratz dolls, the Spice Girls.. Remember when little girls in stripper-wear lip syncing to songs about sex was still weird?

William Strawn put it most concisely, over on my Facebook where I posted it last night, “Is this really sick? Or a reflection of all the little girls who imagine themselves in Britney’s position? Or even just an idea that we have a very vague line in our society where it starts being okay to exploit women, putting them in highly sexuallized roles. Britney was 17 when she started, look how well that all turned out for her.”

Regretsy, one of the best URLS ever

Today’s most excellent website: Regretsy, finally providing a home for some of the train wrecks of unfortunate taste available for sale on Etsy.

Of particular note, for me, are the spray-painted Masturbating dinosaur plaques, “captured right at the point of climax and mounted on a plaque that is ready for hanging on the wall”, and the vulva earring-pendant.. things, “After purchasing, send me a convo describing your vagina: the shape of your inner and outer labia, colors, how much or how little your inner labia extend out from your outer labia, how well hidden your clitoris is, is it heavily hooded, or can you see it fairly easily?”.

this statement is a lie

So here’s something fun. Tony left himself logged into Facebook on my computer when he left on Monday, which means I can do anything in there I like. So far, as I am well known to almost exclusively use my evil powers for good, I have only been toying with his status updates. The mischief so far:

  • Tony Jackson is still logged in at Jhayne’s. STILL. (She types, waving to him over in Seattle.)
  • Tony Jackson would like to be referred to from now on as Le Dude.
  • Tony Jackson is rhyming for his brothers on the corner.
  • Tony Jackson (otherwise known as Le Dude) is giving up kilts.

    So far, I am most curious regarding how many hapless bystanders will believe the last one, as it’s truly the most far fetched statement I could realistically make. I could claim Tony is going on a trip to Zambia tomorrow and it would still be more believable than the idea he might abandon his precious man-skirts. So far, I’ve already hooked… two? I’m looking forward to the morning, to check in and update with more silly things.

  • life is too good to know what to do? has this happened before?

    Last night:

    Kamui: The guide claims Kamui is one of the best ninja movies ever made. If the guide, instead, claimed it was one of the most hilarious, it would have been right. So bad it was good, though we all could have done with less of the endless CG ocean and more with the goofy CG chop socky. Also, there is no conceivable reason for there to be that many CG animals in a live-action film. None. Especially in regards to the sharks.

    Breathless: Domestic violence. More domestic violence. Horrible fathers. Blood. Violence. Blood. I should have remembered what it was about instead of thinking I was in for a ninja movie double-bill and skipped on the ticket and just gone home.

    –::–

    So Tony and I have been considering a weekend trip this October for our six month anniversary, which practically falls on Hallowe’en. We’re juggling options back and forth the idea of either attending SteamCon or flying out to Philly for the weekend of Kyle and Trillian’s nuptial party-thing. (Third so-far-facetious option, to hell with everyone, we’re going to Vegas to watch some naughty Cirque Du Soliex and go on the outdoor rollercoaster.) So far, however, we’ve been caught in a loop of pros and cons for each plan.

    It goes a little something like this:

  • SteamCon, which is local, will be stuffed with some of my favourite people, some I never get to see, some I’ve never had a chance to meet, in a setting that shows off just how completely great they truly are. There’s a market full of costume, too, just in time for Hallowe’en, and an art show starring Myke & Beth, and Molly. It is, however, essentially sold out, which makes it a tricky fish to fry. Also, though it will be full of zer pretty, yeas, and I would like to think of Steampunk as an Art Movement more than anything else, it’s essentially people getting together because they adorn themselves with little bits of clock, which I cannot help but feel is somehow akin to a preppy convention, (insert joke about Republican party here), or a giant goth picnic, where the only qualification required is that you wear black.
  • Philadelphia, on the other hand, is not only home to Kyle “freaking” Cassidy and Trillian “freaking” Stars-Cassidy, (and J.R. “365” Blackwell, whose birthday it is today, everyone go give her some warm wishes), it is also somewhere I’ve never been, which makes it intriguing, even though I could not for great heaps of money tell you where it is on a map. However, given that flights to Philly, though they just dropped in price, are still 7-8 hours (with layover included) each way, and that on top of my 8 hours of bus-ride to and from Seattle, it seems like it would be a ludicrous amount of travel to simply attend a house party, no matter how incredible the attendees, and then come right back. Also, we’ve no idea where to stay.

    Me, I feel evenly about both options, though I am beginning to appreciate more and more the third, least realistic option, in which we run away together just us and the world, and spend a glitzy weekend in the falsest city this side of Dubai.

  • in regards to this weekend, to your head in my lap, there is nothing better

    So, films to date:

    The Great Contemporary Art Bubble: Outstanding. Fascinating to see who was willing to say what in regards to arts trading, arts speculation, and rigged auctions. Some of the art was atrocious, but that’s part of the point. Also, there’s great satisfaction in seeing someone stick it so adroitly to Damien Hirst.

    Soundtrack for a Revolution: Five stars. I’ve never seen a better film on the fight for African-American civil rights. I hope for all of our sakes this film gets picked up scholastically. Interesting, too, to watch it in Canada, rather than the US. Also, hot damn, that was a lot of really good music. Extra points to The Roots playing with TV On The Radio.

    Castaway on the Moon: Oh my stars and garters, this was cracking fun. Korea, you win. Forever.

    Forbidden Door: Do not go. Four, possibly five twist endings painfully wrestle across the last ten minutes of the film, awkwardly obliterating any of the good what came before. If you must see it, leave as he sits laughing at dinner and before he bothers with the bloody stupid door.

    Air Doll: Exactly as expected, minus some confusion as to what, precisely, is a sex scene. Korean films are excellent, (apparently Air Doll is Japanese, it’s only the lead who is Korean. My mistake.) the premise gives a certain shine to otherwise shopworn ideas about what is beautiful about living, and that’s about it. Cute, sweet, slightly odd. Rent it with a date. Or don’t.

    The Girl: Related somehow to Let The Right One In, it reminded me of short stories I read when thirteen. Calm, uncanny, yet utterly prosaic. My favourite film so far after Castaway On The Moon.

    Face: We walked out. It started off promising, with a truly excellent bit with singing fashion models in bunny suits and a reindeer trapped in a forest full of mirrors, but there wasn’t anything else worth mentioning, except that our lives were made better by leaving.

    Today

    6:45 – Kamui Visa Screening Room @ Empire Granville Th7 (tentative)

    9:30 – Breathless Visa Screening Room @ Empire Granville Th7 (tentative)

    Tuesday

    7:00 – The September Issue Visa Screening Room @ Empire Granville Th7 (tentative)

    9:30 – Mother Visa Screening Room @ Empire Granville Th7

    Wednesday

    6:30 – Home Visa Screening Room @ Empire Granville Th7

    Thursday

    6:30pm – Cow Empire Granville 7 Th 2 (tentative)

    6:40pm – Canary Empire Granville 7 Th 1 (tentative)

    9:30pm – Bong Joon-Ho & Co: A 25th-birthday Tribute to KAFA Vancity Theatre

    Oooh, lookie!

    Tony apparently commissioned Eliza to create portraits of us as part of The Very Commercial SWEATSHOP. I adore what she’s done, Tony’s a delicious aristocrat and I’m a hot Armenian. Sweet!

    A Very Commercial Sweatshop: Tony & Jhayne

    EDIT: I’ve gone and bought delicious frames for these, and the one of Tony is going to live with me in Vancouver and the one of me is going to live in Seattle with him! And we have wings! Wings!!! So freaking awesome!

    Please join us for any of these fine events!

    I’m not going to Seattle this weekend, surprise, because, gloriously, it is time to VIFF!

    The Vancouver International Film Festival kicked off yesterday, (Oct 1 – Oct 16), and I though I considered leaving town, it’s the most fun you can have in Vancouver whilst only sitting on your ass. I’d be a fool to miss out. This is the schedule Tony and I cobbled together for our weekend glued to chairs and the silver screen, mowing down endless tubs of candy and greasy popcorn, only occasionally blinking in the hateful light of this-thing-you-call-the-outside as we quest for more substantial food than the traditional yet truly terrible movie theater hot-dogs.

    More to come later in the week, as this thing runs until the 16th and I’ll be damned if I only go for three days.

    Friday, October 2

    9:15pm – The Great Contemporary Art Bubble
    Empire Granville 7 Th 1

    Saturday, October 3

    11:30 pm – Delicious breakfast
    Havana’s on Commercial Dr.

    1:30 pm – Soundtrack for a Revolution
    Empire Granville 7 Th 2

    4:15pm – Castaway on the Moon
    Visa Screening Room, @ Empire Granville Th7

    6:00-ish – Birthday dinner with Mishka
    place as yet to be determined

    ?? – Delicious meat & wine & cheese
    Blood Alley’s SALT.

    9:00 pm – Forbidden Door
    Empire Granville 7 Th 3

    Sunday, October 4

    10:30am – Will Not Stop There
    Visa Screening Room @ Empire Granville Th7

    1:00pm – The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
    Empire Granville Th7 (tickets are RUSH aka At The Door Only. We’ll have to line up eaarly)

    4:00pm – Air Doll
    Visa Screening Room @ Empire Granville Th7

    6:20pm – The Girl
    Empire Granville 7 Th 4

    9:15pm – Face
    Visa Screening Room @ Empire Granville Th7

    Good evening, my little weasels of the twitternet.

    Eliza’s hosting her latest SWEATSHOP.

    This episode is brought to you by Rent, the concept (not the musical), and will be run entirely on the fuel of instant commissions. Here’s how it works:

    Step 1: Decide what you want me to draw. It can’t be more complex than can fit on a 4 x 6″ card, because that’s what you’re getting.

    Step 2: Decide if you want it penciled ($5), inked ($10), or colored ($15).

    Step 3: PayPal me the appropriate amount of money at eliza.gauger SMOOP gmail.com, along with your request.

    Step 4: Watch closely as I draw everything your wittle heart desires!