and I’m not sleeping well

Another afternoon breakfast of mysterious Vietnamese insta-noodle. It’s bland, uninteresting, and the only english on the entire bright packet is the word “chicken”, but I’m following the principle of It’s Good Because It’s Food, (ostensibly), similar to the late-night restaurant rule of It’s Good Because It’s Open. When I was little, I ate them dry as a treat, enjoying the novel way they crunched and then dissolved between my teeth. Now, every time I open one, slitting the brittle white plastic package with a fingernail, fishing out the spice pouches, I remember apocryphal stories about poor college students afflicted with scurvy or perishing of malnutrition after relying on them too long.

  • Top Ten Transhumanist technologies
  • Motionportrait animates still photos

    I cocooned exhausted into bed last night without taking out the rugged froth of fancy curls the hair-dresser on set perched on top of my head and didn’t notice until this morning when I tried to run my fingers through them. Yesterday was a tiring day. My first prom and it was twelve hours long. The whole production looked amazing, though. Two hundred actors as teenagers, some pretending, some not, dolled to the tens in a gymnasium decorated by Disney into an incredibly expensive high school prom. The lighting really made it, like a favourite movie seen on repeat, I couldn’t get tired of the clever colours. The whole thing was fantastic. I loved the shifting star-like spangles that warmly painted our strange, sequined velvet party people who sat down in silk, taffeta, and tuxedo clumps every chance they got. It had the disorienting, hallucinatory quality of a dream.

  • they make me uncomfortable

    A-a-are you gonna take me home tonight?

    Methodically exploring aisles in Canadian Tire, I’m smiling at the Classic Rock station playing over the sound system, warmed by my kissing connection with the bass line, looking for a shallow storage box, and beginning to doubt if they have what I came for. Everything looks cheap under the halogens. Even me, I suppose. The drab stacks of unpacked christmas lights in the last aisle are intimidating and smell like packing plastic.

    Ah-h down beside that red firelight.

    The shop girl I find, no make-up, earrings like the claws of an animal, says she likes my pin-stripe pants, but she doesn’t know if she can help me. The next person, an improbably tall young man whose staff vest is too bright, says he likes my hoodie, but they don’t have what I need. As I leave, the cashier comments on my shoes. I say thank you and hang my head against the rain and the fashion conscious staff. They were not what I’d hoped for.

    Are you gonna let it all hang out?

    Fat bottomed girls
    You make the rockin world go round.

    keep you on your toes


    THAT1GUY
    Originally uploaded by anialodz.

    That 1 Guy‘s October tour dates:

    October 15, 2007 – Columbia, MO – Mojo’s
    October 16, 2007 – St. Louis, MO – Billiken Club
    October 17, 2007 – Iowa City, IA – The Mill
    October 18, 2007 – Madison, WI – The Annex
    October 20, 2007 – Minneapolis, MN – Cedar Cultural Center
    October 21, 2007 – Chicago, IL – The Beat Kitchen
    October 22, 2007 – Peoria, IL – Sop’s on Main
    October 24, 2007 – Hamilton, ON – The Pepper Jack Cafe
    October 25, 2007 – Toronto, ON – El Mocambo
    October 26, 2007 – Guelph, ON – Club Shadow
    October 27, 2007 – Syracuse, NY – Mezzanotte Lounge
    October 28, 2007 – S. Burlington, VT – Higher Ground
    October 30, 2007 – Montreal, QB – Le Savoy(Metropolis)

    Chelsea and Scott are attending the Chicago gig, and Katie will be at the one in Toronto.

    UPDATE: Karen will be attending the Madison show, Ben will be at the Vienna, VA, show, and I’m hoping to convince Gunn to drop by in Minneapolis. (Maybe, hypothetically, it could be a chance to hug her long-distance). Michel, Dee, Victoria, and skinny video-game Mike and Mike’s office will be at the Oct 30th Montreal show.

    Also, I ran out of things to do at work yesterday, so now there’s a Flickrpool.

    I just need you to tell me it’s okay

    help with what you can

    My cats turned one year old Oct. 11th. I missed it, I was on set from 6 a.m. until 10:30, then had to be back at 6 again the next day, so stayed at a friend’s house. This month, for the wonder that is TV-land, I have played a high-school student, a college student, an art teacher, a senator’s daughter, (wayward, of course, complete with musician boyfriend, hah), and someone waiting in line at the DMV. Next week I’m to mock-attend an upscale banquet at an international embassy, a prom, and an Irish pub.

    It’s lovely-strange, the background work I’ve been doing. Like a low level hum, I’ve been reconnecting with friends, making new ones, and generally being paid to be social. Other things have been neglected, though, and I hope to rectify that soon. Chores littered with hyphens, mostly, (house-work, copy-editing, e-mail…), but there are legitimately important things too. I need to write copy for Foxtongue that I don’t immediately delete with a sense of despair. Every time I read a finished newsletter out loud, I feel as if it should be crumpled into fish-wrap, and I promptly scrap it. I’m beginning to think I should have someone else over to write it, someone who could translate my nihilistic ranting on the project into something cohesive and actually useful.

    As Vonnegut said so succinctly, “There’s only one rule that I know of, babies — God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.”

    as whitewashed as I can make it..

    I was approximately four years old when my parents became involved with another woman, Sarina. My clearest memories of her involve cigarettes, dark hair, and a lean, shrewish voice. As the story goes, she met my mad father at a bar and found him interesting enough to follow home, pretending that her car had coincidentally broken down in front of our house. Apparently, somehow, this worked. She moved in soon after, bringing with her two little children – Daniel, age three, and Brianna, age two – from her marriage to another man. It was unexpected. Suddenly, not only did I have another mother, I had young siblings, the first children I had ever encountered.

    All three of us were incredibly blonde. We were thin kids, the sort with exceedingly clever hands that like to climb bookshelves and get in behind furniture. (Once, in a fit of crackling genius, we gave Brianna a safety-scissors haircut coloured with our favourite smelly markers.). In the few photographs that survive, we look unquestionably related. It wasn’t official, however, until our parent’s decision to have children together – Robin in January then Blake in September.

    My mother left soon after, young, worn, and tired, taking Robin and I with her. We moved out, (really it was more of a midnight raid as we ran away, with Daniel helping me out of the bedroom window), and settled into a nice apartment on the Drive above Nick’s spaghetti house. Silva lived across the hall, I began going to school. Life continued. Very rarely did I see that branch of family after we left. Not only did they move every year, Sarina became increasingly difficult, systemically explaining to we-the-children that everything we lived had been delirious make-believe, even to the point of raising Blake with a fictional name. Eventually, they became impossible to find. Vancouver Island swallowed them whole.

    All of this was so long ago that I never expected any of them to remember – Blake certainly couldn’t, he was a tiny baby, maybe three years old the last time I saw him, and Daniel and Brianna had likely been quite thoroughly brain-washed by their unappealing mother – but I continued to hope I would find them again. Vancouver Island is vast, but population small, and Blake’s birth certificate, after all, had my father’s name on it. One day, eventually, he would need it, if only to apply for a driver’s license.

    It turned out, however, that Blake found out he had a different father when he was seven years old. He and our sister Brianna were having an argument, and she burst out, in perfect cliché, “He’s not even your REAL daddy!” Way to go, girl. (Last time I saw her, she was extolling, very seriously, the various merits of My Little Ponies). From there, the facts began to trickle in. His false name was discarded when his CareCard came, (“My middle name isn’t James?”), and when that foretold moment with the Birth Certificate happened when he was sixteen, his mother threw a fit, refusing to tell him anything or sign anything until he legally changed his name from Holmes. Apparently it was a bit of a drag down war, complete with shouting matches and threats of cutting him from the will. Being a smart kid, however, he simply waited out three years and applied again when he was nineteen. At that, his mother, not relenting, but simply giving up, finally told him of my existence. That was six months ago.

    Next time he was in town, he looked me up on-line in the phonebook. And that, my friends, brings us to yesterday. Tah-fiddle-dah. My long lost brother returned, remarkably undamaged and notably sane. I’m proud of him for struggling through our dubious genetic heritage, our intensely unstable parentage, and his obviously isolated upbringing. He could have gone away and come back a deeply unpleasant individual, but he didn’t. Apparently none of them did. I’m told our brother Daniel is currently scuba-diving in Thailand and our sister Brianna is living in Sweden with family. I never would have guessed.

    yeah, I’m a little bit in shock

    My honest-to-mercy long lost brother Blake just called.

    We haven’t had any contact since I was, mm, twelve? Thirteen?

    I turned my second alarm off, considered going back to sleep another twenty minutes, and the phone rang.

    A voice surprisingly like Cale was there, “Is this Jhayne Holmes?”

    Yes, it is.”

    “Is your father named D—?”

    Unwilling to admit such a thing to any stranger, I ask, “Ah, why would that be, particularly?”

    “My name is Blake, I’m looking for my family.”

    I’ve never actually leapt out of bed before.

    “Jesus christ! How old are you now?”

    “Nineteen.”

    “Where are you!?”

    Turns out he’s in town, visiting. I’m going to meet him ASAP at Waterfront Station.

    I have an inspiring announcement to make!

    Three dear and glorious women

    – musician Meredith Yayanos, artist Zoetica Ebb and photographer Nadya Lev

    are launching a new magazine!

    COILHOUSE is a love letter to alternative culture, written in an era when alternative culture no longer exists. And because it no longer exists, we take from yesterday and tomorrow, from the mainstream and from the underground, to construct our own version. We cover art, fashion, technology, music and film to create an alternative culture that we would like to live in, as opposed to the one that’s being sold or handed down to us. The result, in the form of articles, features and interviews, is laid out on our blog and in our print magazine for all to see. If our Utopia is your Utopia, then welcome! Anyone can contribute, and we encourage you to go to our submission page and get in touch..

    We will also have guest writers, and we welcome comments and submissions! We’re don’t yet have a release date for Issue 1, but it will be soon, and you will know about it. To tide you over in the meantime, blog posts will be a-plenty!”

    Please visit COILHOUSE and get involved! If you like it, SPREAD THE WORD! They place great emphasis and importance on the process of sharing and collaboration, so feel free to repost any and all pertinent information elsewhere. Especially the flyer here or the one found here.

    COILHOUSE can also be found on the following places on the web:

    COILHOUSE on MySpace
    COILHOUSE Flickr Stream – sometimes contains “bonus images” relating to various posts
    COILHOUSE LiveJournal RSS Feed