Fifteen after one in the morning, the phone rings.
“Hello.”
“Hallo. How are you?”
“I just got in about ten minutes ago. How’re you?”
“I am drunk beyond my capacity for being drunk.”
“That sounds dreadful.”
“Why’s that?”
“You have work tomorrow morning.”
“That’ll be fine. It’s inconsequential.”
“Are you still staying the night?”
“Am I welcome?”
“Of course you are. How long will it take you to get here?”
“Well, that depends on if I walk or if I drive.”
“Didn’t you just say you were incredibly drunk?”
“I believe it was the first thing I said.”
“Then you certainly shouldn’t be driving. I vote you walk.”
“Well, I don’t have a vehicle, so that rules out driving. My consolation is that I’m only about a half hour walk away. However, if I convince someone to drive me, I might only take ten minutes.”
“Ah, well, if it makes you feel better, it’s only a fifteen minute walk, not half an hour.”
“Good to know. I’m still going to try to expedite matters though.”
“I’ll stay up for you. Try not to wake my roommate with the bell, instead shout up to the window as quietly as you can.”
“Alright, I’ll do that. See you soon.”
“See you soon.”
The phone is placed back in its cradle. Almost aloud, she says to herself, “that man is stupidly erudite for someone so blitzed.”