Month: June 2004

I’ve been waking shivering frozen the past few days. The tattered rag of a blanket I sleep under right now isn’t warm enough for the very early morning. Prospero helps, but I’m beginning to curse every morning woken cold. The after-the-rain smell drifting through the windows is nice, but doesn’t forgive anything. I need an actual cover. That’s the thing I forgot to ask after when Ray and I were out last night. We moved the big stuff from Adrians last night and apparently just missed Jon. A pity, but an extra pity as I don’t know anyone bigger than Jon and more capable of hauling heavy things up stairs. *laughs* He left a note with his number on though, so I called him after we came back from Wazubis. He’s going to come visit at the new place sometime later this week. Which is a lovely thought, as I miss my Flirt. Having yet another friend person around who hasn’t been addicted to my ‘personality’ can only be a blessing. I think it would bump the number up to… five? *shakes head at self* <rant>Damn sexual people. Growl. I’m not like you! Okay, yes, I am young, and still a child, and so can truly not say never, but for this now, I will never search that out. Stop inflicting your expectations upon me!</rant>

Just sent a nice long letter back to Jeff. I’ve said we’re to take pictures of us folk about town and post or send them to him. So! You people with digicams! We have a project! I hope he’s having a really great time over there. Marc and I are vehemently hoping he finds someone lovely. I can’t imagine what it must be like. I woke up this morning with a messenger window up from him that only had *poke* in it. I think I’m going to set up a time for me to stay up so we may chat. Otherwise, sheer chance just isn’t likely to cut it.

*cackles*

JUST as I am leaving the house to go pick up the Boy, Gavin pops up.
“you’re going to get a “call” soon. *giggles*”

Then the phone rings.

And it’s a job interview.

AGAIN I’m thinking that I SHOULD be thinking that everything is too easy right now.

I am folding and packing and placing things in a box. Paper, pages, sheets of information. I found a slip that tells me I had photos ready for pick-up three weeks ago. I wonder what they will turn out to be. I have very little here beyond clothing. Ray is coming over this evening with a truck from Endura. We’re going to pull everything out from inside, and to the new place. A bench full of costumes, two boxes and half a bed. Bill hasn’t gotten back to me about getting into the storage space for the other half, but I am fine without it. Phone gets hooked up Monday, (POEM will be back up), and internet Tuesday, so I am here at Adrian‘s until at least Monday.

Today is a Robin day and for some reason I’m considering taking him down to the Amsterdam. For the life of me I cannot reason why. Perhaps it’s the name and the way it rolls off the tongue. Something about the heat. I want to be somewhere I can ask someone to pass the bottle and feel drips of liquid on it as my hand takes it, damp and wet. Bright and sun-filled and painted beautiful colours. Maybe it’s more of a beach day. Sit in the sand and laugh at all the liars pretending to be pretty in bikinis. In any case, today I’m finally getting the X-Rays done. Getting it over with in spite of the fact that lying cold with all my clothes off, on a hospital table in a hospital dress, with such a scorching light of day outside seems somehow innapropriate. Like a screaming ghost at noon drifting down a busy street and back again.

Does anyone know how to package feathers, plants or paper lanterns for safe transport?

as an upper: Go spend time reading  .

He does This Day In History’s that are simply pretty.

Today:

1926 – Allen Ginsberg is born howling, starving, hysterical, naked.

1942 – Curtis Mayfield is born, spends much of his youth playing with a Superman toy that, in his youth, he calls “superfly.”

1960 – The Supreme Court provides, in Gideon v. Wainright, that everyone has the right to an attorney. Police are annoyed that even blacks and poor people have access to the sixth amendment, which they denounce as an antiquated amendment, meanwhile polishing their private gun collections.

1969 – Star Trek airs its final episode, after being canceled in one of the biggest TV blunders of all time. Kiss my nerdy ass, NBC!

1987 – Andres Segovia dies. Sadly, much of the guitar-playing community are too thick to notice, and continue making the ludicrous assumption that Jimmy Page is the best guitarist of the century. Travesty.

Elaine and Spike are two of my favorite people on the planet. Any list of people I hold in extreme respect has them by the top. Spike apparently has a 50/50 she won’t get through this. I’m willing to be optimistic though, that if need be she’ll scratch and claw her way past everything. Even so, any support is appreciated.

Elaine’s letter to everyone

I opened my in-box to a painful surprise just now. A heavy letter struck me hard.

My friend Spike has cancer.

I’m reading over Elaine and Spike’s accounts of how they’re getting through this, and it seems like some sort of war where no one can be blamed. Chemo and crying. I can’t imagine how they’re doing really, though I know the upbeat will still be there. I know they’re holding eachother.

There was a get-together on my birthday, before the chemo began, but I didn’t know in time. The house is pretty much locked down now against sickness and germs. I think I have to nab a smack of organic veggies and deliver it, welcoming myself to thier neighborhood with a solace piece of gift. I don’t really know what to say. This is too big to swallow, I feel it catching in my throat.

Please the world, allow her to triumph.

I’m trying to mail out my new address to the people I feel should have my real world number and address and suddenly I feel very very connected to the peopleweb:

“The total number of recipients (95) are greater than the maximum allower (50). Please reduce the number of recipients.”

Alright! We did it!

Saturday: 22nd birthday

Sunday: decide I need to be out asap, Gavin suggests living together

Monday: spend time out with Gavin, decide it’s a workable option, post for ads on Livejournal

Tuesday: answer ad, look at place

Wednesday: Say yes, put down deposit.

tomorrow we pick up keys, set up utilities

I love how life just works sometimes.

EDIT:

I just realized that this song comes off the album that Nathanial played for me first time I came over and so my first time in a house where I was to live on the Drive.

“A long December and there’s reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can’t remember the last thing that you said as you were leavin’
Now the days go by so fast”

My one night stand that took me the week – First time buying condoms – (The wannabe 7-11 at commercial & venables) – Brenda dying and running around outside the Beazers house chasing Gord for the green glass egg that I consider part of my home now – My first attempt at love – Growing pot on the porch and Krista in the bathtub.

Nostalgia instantly. Just add music.

April 4th, Jeff and James and I went downtown to go take pictures of the burned shell of what used to be a wonderful building down on Hastings and Cambie.

first we wandered an alley

Something about today makes me want to take pictures of people. Document and capture moments of nothing in particular. Someone talking to a friend they see almost every day, me wrapped in the towel, napping with Prospero on the couch, a girl looking up at a building taller than she thought it was, a boy, a small boy, on top of a playground tower. Seconds, minutes of image.
something radiates from pictures.