Month: June 2004

I love shifts in perception, in attitude. Seeing things blossom. Though the
implication of a hard friendship was always there, it was never put into true
practice.

Line lives up on the shelf and polish them to a shine. Pick them and eat
them. The ones with you are to look like pomegranates turned inside out.

The way you savoured the words, the image. I made you a smile that I devoured.

Tonight was the a wrung out Game of 1000 White Cards. The idea was
to collect people and have them drink sangria, but it was not to be. I
think we had fun, but it was an edge of exhaustion push of energy. I’m
glad of work tomorrow. Enough time with the mindless will bring back my
taste for words. I am sad to miss SinCity tomorrow, but a prom will
hopefully be well worth it. I found a plum dress custom fit to someone
I could body double. The tight translucent sleeves will make dancing
difficult, but I swear, if need be I shall tear them off for freedom of
movement. It’s too fun to mess with perception for otherwise. Clothing
as costume – a favorite game.

in toronto i tended to wear skirts and peasant shirts. hippie
clothing, light carefree and not deadly in the unaccustomed heat.
nothing that wasn’t befitting a flowerchild. except once. i was meeting
with joseph at night and i had dressed in black. tight sleeveless black
shirt, black pants. clothes to break into buildings with. an
assassination outfit. i carried knives then – he hadn’t taught me
enough of love otherwise. it was too soon. i scared him. i was so
different to see. i stood, i moved in other ways. confident for the
first time.
“you look too dangerous – i can’t see you”

porphyre’s LJ stalker is mistersleepless!

mistersleepless is stalking you because they saw your picture and fell in love.. They are also eating your food when you aren’t looking!

I returned home from Sophies
to find a lovely message from Jaques. “Rather foolish to suppose you
would be home on a friday evening, but hey it was worth a try”. I’ll
call him tomorrow and set up a time to watch terrible movies. I
discovered, (was it only yesterday?), that his telly is large enough to
live in. I was somewhat surprised. This incongrous instrument in the
middle of an artists space.  The stylized painting of the Joker in
purple hat and tails was only appropriate. Of course, I was slightly
surprised to even be invited home. For the long time we’ve known
eachother I’ve never visited.  I’m coming to see that it’s an
omission, a change in relations when you’ve been to a persons home.
Seen where they sleep, see how it is they decorate thier walls. I cannot even begin to imagine the look on Bills face if I spend the night over at Jaques watching movies. I laugh to myself as I wonder what this will portend.

It’s been a lovely week of very long days. A few hours before bed alone
at my computer seems somehow wrong. I’ve been averaging a bedtime of
five eh em.  I get home or boot people out into a dark sky and
wander my fingers over my keyboard futily trying to convey the energy
of my day.  Like an orchestra sounding passion, yet leaving me
without the knowledge to properly apply pen and paper to decribe the
sound.

Ellen, by the
way is wonderful. If she doesn’t protest, I suggest applying her to all
sort of situations. *laughter* Dragging witful people along to things
in spite of thier inclusiveness is fun. She professes to shyness, but
is very good at hiding it. She also says she’s not a very good dancer
and I think I will disagree. We met for the second time yesterday. I
was wearing the geekery goth shirt I was recently given and so she’s
offered to lend me The Crow comics, which I have never read. (Marc
tells me the panel is a clip from the comic – so wow – two people
called it as I remained in bashful ignorance). I think
this too will become an excuse to meet again.  We talked of films
and technologies and the underground spreading culture that is
Livejournal. We met through this and we met again yesterday due to a
post as well. She gave me some Vonnegut and I bought her coffee at
Joe’s. Right now, of course, we’re being inscestuous and writing of
eachother in our journals. All the more joy this way. Tying to ropes of
words tighter to bind the world in our interweb.

Later, after I’d sent Robin on his way and inflicted myself on Marc
briefly, Ian and I sat up watching New Rose Hotel. It is so very close
to being a fantastic film. Our theory is that the budget was spent on
coercing acttresses to be naked and naughty with Willem Defoe. It’s a
horrid thing to say, but honestly – it would have been better spent on
lighting. There is no reason under any ghod of your choosing that
Willem Defoe needs to be seen showing so much flesh. 

 I am rapidly realizing that I am in desperate need of bookshelves.

how can anyone not love Tom Lehrer

Anyone know where to get a decent pan and two pots on the Drive?

-before the quest for movies, there was a short run up to 1st for popcorn butter. I had halfway though changing out of my interview clothes and so just threw a coat on over my bra. We strongly suspect the clerk at the front counter was thinking porn when we said we were going home to watch movies.

-I think Jeffs friends have inherited me or something. I spent yesterday afternoon with Jude, Vinnie and some others whose names I don’t remember at Carlos & Buds. (Yes, that place that drops from mind for almost a year before we remember – hey! what about that neat place! – then forget about again) I don’t know if they’re quiet people or if it’s because I’m there, though I’m inclined to believe the former. In any case, it seems I’ve been slotted in with certain people retroactively.

-I know I said it already, but sorry for the rock in your bed. Or the bruise on your shin, which now I don’t think is there, but I did have a three minute worry over. Plus, neat! A jaguar!

-Sophie’s prom is Saturday and I’ve been invited to fill in for Leif, who’s working. So, um – how surreal is this going to be? I spent a moment at Value Village picking up a prommy dress while Robin was painfully trying his way through the pants section. I’ve never been to a prom, and honestly have no idea what to expect. I imagine prettied up teenagers standing in groups around the walls or tables. Faint illusions of idea, but nothing solid.

-I’m thinking lately that I should start learning this self-editing thing. I used the phrase “ornamental tazer” in my job interview wednesday. That just can’t be a good idea.

Ghods – I need to stop long enough to breathe. Today I get up, write a short blurb on last nights insane dedication to art, then off to nab Robin. We’re to be getting him clothes today. We meet Grady on the way down and that takes half an hour. He won’t call me, but that’s alright. It will take me likely a month or more to get around to calling him, so I suppose we’re even. Some lines change relationships. Once you’ve shown yourself to be something to me, that you professed never to be, perhaps I’ll never forgive you. Still, nice to see him, catcheek fuzz and all.  We passed him off onto someone else then promptly ran into Jaques LaLonde.

He’s a bit scruffy looking right now. He’s taken a part at Storyeum, as the goldpanner who started Vancouver. Never have I been so happy to see him. I continually expect some sort of recrimination from everyone over my breakup with Bill, but all I’ve recieved is support and stronger friendship for it. Jaques most of all so far, perhaps because his deeper understanding of the involvement and it’s parts. It was a relief somehow. Now I know there will be no strained conversation with anyone. Plus, well – experienced flirts are just damned nice sometimes.

We ended up at his place briefly, then to coffee with Ellen.

When I have another minute, I’ll remark a bit on that too, but Ian’s arrived, so I suppose I should actuially go eat something before he forces me to.

Last night was a laughing adventure. At eleven o’clock it is decided that we have a quest, and after a quick, futile call to Marc, we set out the door. Man Bites Dog, New Rose Hotel, & Things to do in Denver When You’re Dead.

Eleven sees Gavin and I pouring into Ians car and cutting through downtown to Black Dog. Closed, so onwards to Videomatica in Kits. Closed. Oak and 16, there’s a Blockbusters. They’ve got Things to do in Denver. We run from there to the Rogers, who has nothing, then back to ask if they would call the outlet on Main street. They’ve nothing in, so onwards to 41st and Fraser we go. At this point we’re in a hurry. I just pop out to try the door. Video Outlet is closed. Rogers at 49th & Victoria, however is not. They call the downtown and put a hold on Man Bites Dog for us. The time is now 11:45. We have 15 minutes to get to Davie & Denman from Victoria & 49th.

and we do it.

Laughing.

Ian and Gavin don’t know the city, so I’m in front and giving split second driving directions. We go down Victoria to Kingsway and swing through, just catching the light. We’re boxed in so “damn! Anti-Destination League! Quick – turn right! Here! This is Clark – we’ll hit the viaduct!” I don’t know how many laws we broke, but we passed two cop cars at certainly illegal speeds while running not one, but two red lights. Then we drove through a park.

At Davie it turns out we’re at the wrong one. Luck has it the staff member we talked to was friendly. “No! Don’t waste time! You have seven minutes! It’s a trap! Run!” We make it. Barely. Three people who simply cannot run, full tilt halfway down Davie Street. Five minutes to midnight.

Ian caught people coming out, and so slipped in. Nick of time all around. Then they weren’t going to give it to us because Ian and I didn’t have photo ID to match our accounts. Gavin is more organized than we are though, so all our effort paid off. No New Rose Hotel, but we’re not exactly caring at that point. The fact we weren’t dead and we had two out of three was pretty damned impressive.

I’m too tired now to haul large chunks of wood around and put the screws in. Pity.

You! All who are to be calling me, please do so sometime.

Harry Potter was an actual movie. I was pleasantly impressed. The director was an extremely good call.

I want someone to call me after midnight, say hello and make me smile.

Your face, I can’t remember it properly, and that makes me feel somehow lost. We had years together – where are you?

Tomorrow is a job interview. I have a suspician it’s a formality.

Mishka – come visit. I have a shower big enough for two again. I’ll hum sad little guitar solos for us to soap up to.

I don’t know what I can save you from, but of course I’ll try.

No – still no clue what he’s angry about. You think I’ve asked?  Stop asking me and start asking them.

Anyone know a cheap place to get VCRs? Doesn’t have to be good, just something to watch movies on that won’t eat the tapes.

Joe’s at five =   and Kurt Vonnegut. Almost all the books that Lidd stole when he went to the island with my library.

Coffee & Cigarettes. Please don’t have me throw you over to go with someone else. I think it would be perfect to see it with you. We’re both “seen too many movies” “no such thing as too many”.

Pam last night was interesting. Wierd to see someone again after not. So many scars, deary. You have to quit.

Shane! Toast!

Who the heck labeled the box of my hardcover books, “bathroom stuff”?? *suspects Jeff*

My birthday carrot from Aiden has been found, but it’s been trashed. Looks like it was run over. There’s a cachet in walking into a dry cleaners and asking them to clean my antique velvet carrot, but then again….

The little elephant needs to be painted. Like, yesterday.

Tuesday afternoon and the cable is up and running. I am now connected to my world. It is brilliant sun outside, but it can wait. It’s peeking inside, and that’s good enough while I catch up on everyone. I’m lying clothed in water from the shower that I braved without a shower curtain. I think I did all right, no new lakes, and the sun is all the more sweet for it. I’m tired and drowsy and glad that I’m dripping wet. Ian and I were up until seven. We have pretty much finalized the move from Adrians. Two loads, one of books and fabric and feathers and paintings, the other of computer and my fish. I love that my essentials simply aren’t.  The only thing forgotten are my crows wings, left behind in the freezer. I suppose I’ll pick them up in a few days, when I hit Superstore for my pictographs.

I should get dressed, but it’s too lovely just to lie here typing, scrolling through art. Ray is coming over any minute now. He’s bringing some boxes, surprise mystery boxes. With the superfast packing with everyone helping, we haven’t the slightest clue as to what’s in most of them. When he gets here, we have to jet over to grab Robin, then come back. I need to re-cut Gavins key and meet him here to give it to him. After the boxes are solved, we’re taking Robin to the yearly Harry Potter.  

Ah-ha. Here’s here now. Time to tie on a shirt. Goodbye.