Month: April 2004

Virgin birth? Well – if she was Mary the Slut, who would have believed her? No more breaking out the turkey basters girls! A technique has been found that will cause an egg to start creating cells without a sperm. ‘Course, in this case, scientists are pretty certain that the process cannot produce a mammal baby, though something similar has been found to work on mice. Bonus: a child without two gentic donors = ??. Hmmm. Some insects and some lizards manage it, soooo – trashy monster movies anyone? I’m all for genetic manipulation. I don’t want to have a child until it could have a tail or feathery wings, but I must say I’m slightly discomfited by the thought of creating worker drone humans. There’s something slightly soulless in cloning human bees.

links thanks to

Job interview in appoximately an hour. I’m unsure what to wear as I don’t know the impression I’m to be giving. Is it for theatre? Is it a clerical? It’s completely up in the air. I could end up tech…

I am killing again.  Dreaming of memories. I woke very  suddenly yesterday in the dead of night. I had been whimpering in my sleep and Adrian doesn’t know me very well. I don’t know how long I was asleep, but it was long enough. I had to fight my urge to hurt him. Jolting adrenalin turning my hands into pain and claw. I suppose I feel the air from the moist earth. Wanting to be a kid again without the pain of the fosterhome twisting me into shapes made of broken wire to bind my wrists.

It is springtime again.

God answers for everyone – endless excuses
Not habit for anyone ’cause I’m trying to break your click track heart
Seen a vision of perfect grace – airbrushed and lifeless
All contempt and aftertaste, it’s like I’m waiting for the scars to heal

So it turns out that   and I have been dating eachother through circuitous means.

Why are we not surprised.

I killed Adrian. He’s lying in the bed puddledead asleep. I decided to show him how to give a massage as I was tired of my shoulders feeling cheated or brutalized.

I win.

Today was work again, and a shifting of plans. I suddenly realized this afternoon that staying the night at James’, no matter how desirable the films and company, when there is a job interview the next day, it isn’t the wisest course of action. Not that I’ve been known for my wisdom for the past few years, but I feel it coming back to me. My reading of the human pages is returning, but slowly. Not quick enough though, it seems. It seems, and seems is all I’ll say, that I am collecting again.

I had a horrible mental image this week. Stalking down the middle of a street, drawing from those following me. Lightning gathering at my hands and calling thunder from the sky. Forks of power built of thier belief in me. My voice could crack stone, because this crowd behind me thought they loved.

I laughed out loud at my minds painful image and at how true some of it was. That truth was painful – especially rememberance of looking back on that very thing not months before and realizing that all the gardens hidden secrets had turned from diamonds to dust from lack of contact. The words and confidences need to be buffed by presence, else they fade and dissolve. Meaningless over the passage of time.

I wonder if I asked, would Jeff paint for me before he left.

Stalin vs. Hitler The Authorized Annotated Translation The comics © 2000 by Alexey Lipatov. Please don’t steal too hard. It upsets the artist.

thanks to

The children on the chat are roleplaying a vaguely S&M fantasy and there’s nothing I can do about it. No-one’s breaking the rules in talkng about leather and whips and yes master and do I have permission mistress, but it’s sort of creeping me out a wee bit.

Actually – it’s a bit more than vaguely.

I thought about blingforjesus today while I was going through photographs. I have the Cranberries on loud and it’s like I’m alone in the apartment. Theturtlemoves is in the other room working on my computer as I deal with the rude children.

And in the night, I could be helpless
I could be lonely, sleeping without you.
And in the day, everything’s complex
There’s nothing simple, when I’m not around you.

But, I miss you when you’re gone.

In my throat is tickling with the thick taste of your scent.  It catches in my breath and pulls at me from the inside.

I put on some make-up
Turn on the tape deck
And put the wig back on my head
Suddenly I’m Miss Midwest Midnight Checkout Queen
Until I head home
And I put myself to bed

I love how innapropriate the music is I listen to for the childrens chat I’m modding.

You’re caught on my fingers, trapped by my flesh.

A high school play featuring a lesbian kiss has provoked a row in Canada.

….students involved in producing the play complain that axing the scene amounts to censorship and homophobia.

thanks to