Day: January 30, 2004

www.5ives.com

from www.5ives.com (thanks go to blingforjesus for continueing to seek out unnuterably amusing web content)

Five great reasons to buy a Hummer™

1 You’ve been wanting to buy much wider groceries (but have been stymied by the timid width of your Escalade)

2 You and your make-believe wife were thinking of having 11 or 12 imaginary kids

3 You’re sick of always being the environment’s goddamned bitch

4 You could totally put a keg back there and just drive around and shit

5 They were all out of penises

name that tune with capital ironics

i feel safest of all i can lock all my doors it’s the only way to live/ love will tear us apart again/ i ran so far away/ the image breaks down will you visit me please if I open my door/ i feel i’m on a cross again, lately/ you shouldn’t have to sell your soul in black and white/ when you’ve laid your hands upon me and told me who you are i thought i was mistaken/ they really really ought to know those one track minds/ seems to go nowhere and I’ve lost my light/ and i still find it so hard to say what i need to say/ how can i explain when there are few words i can choose/ daylight licked me into shape i must have been asleep for days/ i thought i told you to leave me while i walked down to the beach/ it’s no problem of mine
But it’s a problem i find/ stop me if you’ve heard this one before last night i dreamed somebody loved me

Alrighty- that’s it. I give up. I cannot think of one more 80’s song lyric tidbit to continue this post cohesively. Sorry. It was a good run, but it’s just too late..