{"id":694,"date":"2004-07-27T14:39:00","date_gmt":"2004-07-27T14:39:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/2004\/07\/27\/the-link-was-discovered-both-iraq-and-al-queda-have-the-letter-q\/"},"modified":"2004-07-27T14:39:00","modified_gmt":"2004-07-27T14:39:00","slug":"the-link-was-discovered-both-iraq-and-al-queda-have-the-letter-q","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/2004\/07\/27\/the-link-was-discovered-both-iraq-and-al-queda-have-the-letter-q\/","title":{"rendered":"The link was discovered. Both Iraq and Al-Queda have the letter Q"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><i>Gavool has parents that are cute. This is what they send. I think it also said something in that I was handed the e-mail addy&#8217;s of the entire family with it. Guess it&#8217;s official now. Heh.<\/i><\/p>\n<p>Subject: Beware of Al-gebra <\/p>\n<p>At New York&#8217;s Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.<br \/>\nHe is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. <\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Al-gebra is a fearsome cult,&#8221; Ashcroft said. &#8220;They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like &#8220;x&#8221; and &#8220;y&#8221; and refer to themselves as &#8220;unknowns&#8221;, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. &#8220;As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every triangle,&#8221; Ashcroft declared. <\/p>\n<p>When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, &#8220;If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes&#8221;. <\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence,&#8221; the President said, adding: &#8220;Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line.&#8221; <\/p>\n<p>President Bush warned, &#8220;These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex.&#8221; <\/p>\n<p>Attorney General Ashcroft said, &#8220;As our Great Leader would say, read my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty of: though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens around them.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Gavool has parents that are cute. This is what they send. I think it also said something in that I was handed the e-mail addy&#8217;s of the entire family with it. Guess it&#8217;s official now. Heh. Subject: Beware of Al-gebra At New York&#8217;s Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/2004\/07\/27\/the-link-was-discovered-both-iraq-and-al-queda-have-the-letter-q\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;The link was discovered. Both Iraq and Al-Queda have the letter Q&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-694","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/694","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=694"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/694\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=694"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=694"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=694"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}