I was sitting in the livingroom not fifteen minutes ago, re-reading All Tomorrows Parties and wiating to find out where the heck Bill went off to today when a man walked in. He’s an older fellow and had showed up a week or so ago, befuddled and in our livingroom. I’d say he’s prolly around 60? He seemed to be looking for previous tenants from a long time ago. Said he used to deliver the firewood for the neighborhood years ago. Harmless, and a bit not all there. I was downtstairs last time he had arrived, and rooomate Marshall had been reading in the livingroom. I cursed the heat for leaving the doors open and asked if he was looking for anything in particular. This time – for all I knew – I was alone in the house. So here I am, sitting with my book, and this man walks in. Again. Great. Just what I need. Practice on getting rid of people. Joy.<\/p>\n
So I ask him what, if anything, he’s looking for, and he replies, “looking for you, actually. Your boy isn’t around, is he?”
\n I tell him that Marshall is not my boy, he’s my roomate and he’s currently upstairs, after all, that’s probably true. Then I add on a few polite, ‘so where will you be going? As you’ve obviously come to the wrong house again’ sort of remarks.
\nHe asks what I’m doing today. I reply that I’m frightfully busy and if he’ll just excuse me and let me get back to my business- I’m cut off.
\n“How much do you charge?”
\n“pardon”
\n“How much for you to come with me?”
\n“I’m sorry – I seem to have misunderstood you, I’m busy today, and not going to go with you”
\n“\u00cf’ll give you $20 to come with me”
\n“No, sir, I’m really going to have to ask you to leave”
\n“Well, later then, when your boy isn’t home” and he goes to shake my hand.
\nI figure, okay – if it’ll get rid of you, shakey shakes then, and then he wouldn’t let go! <\/p>\n
HE TRIED TO DRAG ME OUT OF THE HOUSE!!<\/p>\n
Luckily! My ghods! He’s an old guy and it was easy to get my hand back!! So after that didn’t work, He said he hoped that I wasn’t mad at him, and he couldn’t perhaps offer me the $20 NEXT TIME!!<\/p>\n
Scary scary scary<\/p>\n
Then after a few more back and forths of, you’re very pretty, I’d like you to leave now – he finally gets outside, I close and lock the door, and get to watch him DRIVE AWAY. He had DRIVEN from whereever to here JUST to try and get me to go with him!!!<\/p>\n
Aie! I an NOT leaving the front door open again for a VERY long time!! <\/b><\/p>\n
Is anyone available to come over??
\nI’m feeling REALLY insecure right now….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I was sitting in the livingroom not fifteen minutes ago, re-reading All Tomorrows Parties and wiating to find out where the heck Bill went off to today when a man walked in. He’s an older fellow and had showed up a week or so ago, befuddled and in our livingroom. I’d say he’s prolly around … Continue reading “Strangers in my own home are trying to buy my services…”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[75,74],"class_list":["post-57","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-kidnapping","tag-upsetting"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=57"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=57"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=57"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=57"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}