{"id":493,"date":"2004-05-16T00:04:00","date_gmt":"2004-05-16T00:04:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/2004\/05\/16\/an-edited-conversation-my-side\/"},"modified":"2004-05-16T00:04:00","modified_gmt":"2004-05-16T00:04:00","slug":"an-edited-conversation-my-side","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/2004\/05\/16\/an-edited-conversation-my-side\/","title":{"rendered":"an edited conversation &#8211; my side"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I think I&#8217;m evil for everyone, actually, but don&#8217;t remember this particular thing coming up<\/p>\n<p>well, not with you perhaps<\/p>\n<p>it may just be a theme of mine continuing along softly these days<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve been feeling very very lonely while being surrounded by people who care about me<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s an odd dichotomy<\/p>\n<p>and it makes me uncomfortable, but I remember life being a little like this before<\/p>\n<p>before I had something to hide behind, I had a lover back east <\/p>\n<p>now it&#8217;s just me, alone, facing people who want to hold sway. have dominion, share flesh and feelings<\/p>\n<p>ah &#8211; but see &#8211; that us<\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t know which us there is or wcould be or that I might even want or that you desire<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve been very uncertain lately. How many of my desires have been real or imagined. I&#8217;ve been deciding they&#8217;re all artifacts of the void. The not having someone makes me want someone.<\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t think that&#8217;s fair to inflict on anyone<\/p>\n<p>if it helps, I have these sudden urges to throw myself upon someone, to savage them and have my way with them, but, really &#8211; how much of that is true? Yes, there is that clenching surge of want, but I know it&#8217;s idealized desires.<\/p>\n<p>you&#8217;re going to likely have a much easier time of it<\/p>\n<p>at the moment, I can&#8217;t even know how to which extent I like people or desire them or anything even related to such interactions<\/p>\n<p>how much is flirtatious fiction?<br \/>\nis there even anything to get caught up in?<br \/>\nI don&#8217;t know if I want to, I wouldn&#8217;t know if it were honest<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I think I&#8217;m evil for everyone, actually, but don&#8217;t remember this particular thing coming up well, not with you perhaps it may just be a theme of mine continuing along softly these days I&#8217;ve been feeling very very lonely while being surrounded by people who care about me It&#8217;s an odd dichotomy and it makes &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/2004\/05\/16\/an-edited-conversation-my-side\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;an edited conversation &#8211; my side&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-493","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/493","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=493"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/493\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=493"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=493"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=493"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}