{"id":3726,"date":"2006-09-21T03:03:00","date_gmt":"2006-09-21T03:03:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/2006\/09\/21\/domni-you-do-rather-throw-yourself-into-things-with-impressive-abandon\/"},"modified":"2006-09-21T03:03:00","modified_gmt":"2006-09-21T03:03:00","slug":"domni-you-do-rather-throw-yourself-into-things-with-impressive-abandon","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/2006\/09\/21\/domni-you-do-rather-throw-yourself-into-things-with-impressive-abandon\/","title":{"rendered":"domni: &#8220;you do rather throw yourself into things with impressive abandon.&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"float: right; margin-left: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px;\"> <a href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/foxtongue\/248898176\/\" title=\"photo sharing\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/static.flickr.com\/92\/248898176_833be0d835_m.jpg\" alt=\"\" style=\"border: solid 2px #000000;\" \/><\/a> <br \/> <span style=\"font-size: 0.9em; margin-top: 0px;\">  Originally uploaded by <a href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/people\/foxtongue\/\">Foxtongue<\/a>. <\/span><\/div>\n<p>I feel as if I were <a href=\"http:\/\/antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov\/apod\/ap060915.html\">planted<\/a> in a warm garden only to be drowned in someone else&#8217;s story, some thick memory of another woman&#8217;s legs wrapped around him and how that tangle painfully untied. This feels like it has so little to do with me that I don&#8217;t understand how it came between us. It makes me wish I were a drinker, have the ability to blur my sold-out world, so I could take that fourth drink then try to drive to some mythical home. My heart is heavy and red, holding me down like a lover with their hands at my neck. I wake up raw, my nails having clawed into my sides when I wasn&#8217;t paying <a href=\"http:\/\/news.bbc.co.uk\/2\/hi\/science\/nature\/5344892.stm\">attention<\/a>. <\/p>\n<p>I know that come some far tomorrow, I will learn to break yesterday. Dismantle what I cared about and wish instead for something else, but right now I wake up with my eyes watering, exhaustion paramount, only knowing that I hurt and that there&#8217;s nothing to <a href=\"http:\/\/www.newscientist.com\/article.ns?id=mg19125704.500&amp;feedId=online-news_rss20\">hold me up<\/a>, nothing to feel right. <\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/legacyofty.livejournal.com\">Tyler<\/a> brought me to the opening of a comedy club tonight. It helped. The last man on, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.marcmaron.com\/\">Marc Maron<\/a>, strangely reminded me of a welcoming yet possibly unsettling-only-if-I-consider-it mix of an ex of mine and my not-godfather-seriously-people, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/foxtongue\/114002134\/\">Michael Green<\/a>. In a charming aside, he explained from the stage why he and I shouldn&#8217;t go back to his hotel room and have sex. How it would only end in tears. His painted image had a lot of the intense flavour of We-Both-Have-The-T-Shirt. <\/p>\n<p>Walking through Crackton to the bus-stop, I wondered what it would be like to live in a building with a lobby and an elevator, a swimming pool in the basement that&#8217;s always watched by a security man on the other end of a camera. See, I know there&#8217;s an enormous sun-dial on top of Tinseltown that&#8217;s always wrong. It uses the apartment building as a gnomon, but it doesn&#8217;t account for any time in the world. <a href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=YygyHCRrKho\">Useless thing, I love it<\/a>. It&#8217;s not even pretty. It&#8217;s just this tacky secret for everyone who lives in a certain half of the building.<\/p>\n<p>Stephen sez: Here&#8217;s a <a href=\"http:\/\/maps.google.com\/maps?f=q&amp;hl=en&amp;q=40%C2%B035%2734.27%22N+122%C2%B022%2739.46%22W&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;z=18&amp;ll=49.280247,-123.106779&amp;spn=0.002555,0.005477&amp;t=k&amp;om=1\">low rez picture<\/a> of the Tinseltown sundial.<\/p>\n<p><i>(Oh, right, and I figure I should mention this because there are people here who would appreciate it:  In spite of the fact that I have been barely sleeping, barely eating, I still scored apparently far too high (only 155) on an IQ test, resulting in the people testing me refusing to hire me on the basis that I would &#8220;get too bored&#8221;. I also &#8220;did them too fast&#8221; no matter they gave me half an hour to fill out only 80 questions. Oi. Shoot me. Least it&#8217;s Rosh Hashanah tomorrow, which means a delicious dinner at <a href=\"http:\/\/silveredmane.livejournal.com\">Silva&#8217;s<\/a>.)<br clear=\"all\" \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Originally uploaded by Foxtongue. I feel as if I were planted in a warm garden only to be drowned in someone else&#8217;s story, some thick memory of another woman&#8217;s legs wrapped around him and how that tangle painfully untied. This feels like it has so little to do with me that I don&#8217;t understand how &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/2006\/09\/21\/domni-you-do-rather-throw-yourself-into-things-with-impressive-abandon\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;domni: &#8220;you do rather throw yourself into things with impressive abandon.&#8221;&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1710,792,1711,201,14],"class_list":["post-3726","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-marc-maron","tag-oliver","tag-there-should-be-more","tag-tyler","tag-vancouver"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3726","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3726"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3726\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3726"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3726"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3726"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}