{"id":319,"date":"2004-03-25T01:36:00","date_gmt":"2004-03-25T01:36:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/2004\/03\/25\/i-love-this-man-and-i-dont-even-know-him-yet\/"},"modified":"2004-03-25T01:36:00","modified_gmt":"2004-03-25T01:36:00","slug":"i-love-this-man-and-i-dont-even-know-him-yet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/2004\/03\/25\/i-love-this-man-and-i-dont-even-know-him-yet\/","title":{"rendered":"I love this man and I don’t even know him yet"},"content":{"rendered":"

I met this lovely lad named Ethan at SinCity this month and we’ve been exchanging letters. Well – I’ve been sending sad little lame things because I haven’t any access to my own berloody puter and so write things quickly when   isn’t really home or in the shower of cooking or something, and he’s been sending me beautiful essays. ANYWAYS, there’s a little snippert I thought I would share because it’s great.<\/em><\/p>\n

Today I was reading the warning instructions on the back of my heating pad.
(It’s been a LONG couple of days; thank God for Humphrey Bogart movies.)
These instructions are prettymuch put there so stupid people can’t sue them,
and can be summarized as “Don’t use this heating pad for any of the purposes
for which people might ever actually want to use a heating pad.”  This I am
used to; it insures that no matter what goes wrong, they can say they told
you not to do that.  However, these guys had one additional clause to take
care of that particularly clever sort of stupid person who uses the product
for something completely nonsensical and THEN sues.  Like, I don’t know,
trying to eat it.  The clause read – I shit you not – “Do not use in oxygen
atmosphere”.  Great.  So now I have to go to outer-freakin’-space and THEN
try to eat the pad before I can sue them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I met this lovely lad named Ethan at SinCity this month and we’ve been exchanging letters. Well – I’ve been sending sad little lame things because I haven’t any access to my own berloody puter and so write things quickly when   isn’t really home or in the shower of cooking or something, and he’s … Continue reading “I love this man and I don’t even know him yet”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-319","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/319","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=319"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/319\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=319"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=319"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=319"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}