{"id":2653,"date":"2008-09-24T09:32:00","date_gmt":"2008-09-24T09:32:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/2008\/09\/24\/oh-to-stand-tall-to-stretch-to-dream\/"},"modified":"2008-09-24T09:32:00","modified_gmt":"2008-09-24T09:32:00","slug":"oh-to-stand-tall-to-stretch-to-dream","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/2008\/09\/24\/oh-to-stand-tall-to-stretch-to-dream\/","title":{"rendered":"oh, to stand tall, to stretch, to dream!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Things I Have Learned On My Summer<\/strike> Autumn Vacation<\/strike> 72 Hour Bus-Trip<\/p>\n

  • If the bus contains a man who coughs with the sound of a wet rag being dragged through a dog, he will sit directly behind you.\n
  • Fresh fruits and vegetables do not exist. All food is fried.\n
  • All ice-cream parlours in Saskatchewan sell Fireworks.\n
  • People who Talk To Themselves are likely dangerous. Other good clues are an obsession with silly putty, matching camo-wear clothing and luggage, and unexpected children’s toys.\n
  • The Rocky Mountain glaciers are almost gone. This is incredibly scary.\n
  • Small towns contain odd statues of Big Things. They are not good Statues, or even interesting, they are merely odd.\n
  • Small towns only exist on the prairies as a tangential side-effect of the gravity around granaries.\n
  • There really is nothing for 50 miles in every direction.\n
  • Your Time will never be the same Time as when the bus leaves. And, in the same vein, breakfast is regularly at 4:10 in the morning.\n
  • Calgary smells like cinnamon.\n
  • Manitoba Bikers have progressed from being people who hit you with crowbars to people who dance to Barbie Girl in A&W parking lots.\n
  • Trees become exciting half-way across Canada.\n
  • Winnipeg becomes attractive under the threat of a Bus Strike.\n
  • Bus drivers are all jolly, except for that one exception to the rule. Even coffee does not help him.\n
  • Pin-ball machines are perpetually, mysteriously free.\n
  • Husky Station Restaurants remain the holy grail mecca of truck stop diners.
    \n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Things I Have Learned On My Summer Autumn Vacation 72 Hour Bus-Trip If the bus contains a man who coughs with the sound of a wet rag being dragged through a dog, he will sit directly behind you. Fresh fruits and vegetables do not exist. All food is fried. All ice-cream parlours in Saskatchewan sell … Continue reading “oh, to stand tall, to stretch, to dream!”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1546,247],"class_list":["post-2653","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-canada","tag-travel"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2653","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2653"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2653\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2653"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2653"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2653"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}