{"id":2440,"date":"2008-01-27T20:19:00","date_gmt":"2008-01-27T20:19:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/2008\/01\/27\/and-how-do-you-sit-down-in-a-tiny-dress-anyway\/"},"modified":"2008-01-27T20:19:00","modified_gmt":"2008-01-27T20:19:00","slug":"and-how-do-you-sit-down-in-a-tiny-dress-anyway","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/2008\/01\/27\/and-how-do-you-sit-down-in-a-tiny-dress-anyway\/","title":{"rendered":"And how do you sit down in a tiny dress, anyway?"},"content":{"rendered":"

So I’ve decided it’s time to try and land a husband. Does anyone have any tips? I’ve been doing my best to memorize the Social Issues Resource Centre’s Guide to Flirting<\/a>, but I’m not sure about what other sorts of presentation I should go for. The ceremonial make-up for instance. It’s all well and good to know which direction to tilt your eyes, but if I don’t know what colours<\/i> to paint them, what good will it do me? Where do you go to learn that stuff? Are there courses? Or is a mother-daughter kind of thing? Or should I go to a priest? The rabbit fur brushes felt heavenly soft, but I took a peek at an eye-lash curler in the temple this morning, damn thing looked like a torture instrument from a high school play, too over-the-top to take seriously. And then there’s clothes. Always clothes. They’re such a riot of language. What best says, “I’m responsible, but a minx in the sack”? I’d hate to come across the wrong way with a bit of mis-placed plaid. It’s like skirts, all the holy books say that short skirts are effective skirts, but how do you keep your knees from freezing?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So I’ve decided it’s time to try and land a husband. Does anyone have any tips? I’ve been doing my best to memorize the Social Issues Resource Centre’s Guide to Flirting, but I’m not sure about what other sorts of presentation I should go for. The ceremonial make-up for instance. It’s all well and good … Continue reading “And how do you sit down in a tiny dress, anyway?”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[143],"class_list":["post-2440","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-rabbit-hole-day"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2440","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2440"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2440\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2440"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2440"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2440"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}