{"id":230,"date":"2004-01-30T22:58:00","date_gmt":"2004-01-30T22:58:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/2004\/01\/30\/www-5ives-com\/"},"modified":"2004-01-30T22:58:00","modified_gmt":"2004-01-30T22:58:00","slug":"www-5ives-com","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/2004\/01\/30\/www-5ives-com\/","title":{"rendered":"www.5ives.com"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><i>from www.5ives.com (thanks go to <a href=\"http:\/\/blingforjesus.livejournal.com\/\" class=\"lj-user\">blingforjesus<\/a> for continueing to seek out unnuterably amusing web content) <\/i><\/p>\n<p><b>Five great reasons to buy a Hummer\u2122<\/b><\/p>\n<p>1 You&#8217;ve been wanting to buy much wider groceries (but have been stymied by the timid width of your Escalade) <\/p>\n<p>2 You and your make-believe wife were thinking of having 11 or 12 imaginary kids <\/p>\n<p>3 You&#8217;re sick of always being the environment&#8217;s goddamned bitch <\/p>\n<p>4 You could totally put a keg back there and just drive around and shit <\/p>\n<p>5 They were all out of penises<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>from www.5ives.com (thanks go to blingforjesus for continueing to seek out unnuterably amusing web content) Five great reasons to buy a Hummer\u2122 1 You&#8217;ve been wanting to buy much wider groceries (but have been stymied by the timid width of your Escalade) 2 You and your make-believe wife were thinking of having 11 or 12 &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/2004\/01\/30\/www-5ives-com\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;www.5ives.com&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-230","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/230","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=230"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/230\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=230"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=230"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=230"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}