{"id":1314,"date":"2005-03-20T18:51:00","date_gmt":"2005-03-20T18:51:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/2005\/03\/20\/darren-inspired-me-to-write-this\/"},"modified":"2005-03-20T18:51:00","modified_gmt":"2005-03-20T18:51:00","slug":"darren-inspired-me-to-write-this","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/2005\/03\/20\/darren-inspired-me-to-write-this\/","title":{"rendered":"darren inspired me to write this"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s one of those days again<\/a>. Over and over again the water droplets comes down like knives thrown into the ground, rain without end, amen. I was scared to leave the house, he had to hold my hand. He looks apiece, his coat and hair and fingers all matched in one certain picture. I have never felt so much like I wanted to be someone else. I can’t help but wish I could explain to my lover why I feel robbed, how it is that something smashed. My heart was beaten over and over again at the wedding, until I returned home feeling tender and let down. Vows, pause, repeat, vows, not mine, but thiers<\/i> and yours.<\/i> It’s not a real party unless I come home the next day after breakfast with light in the sky, unless I come home the next day having fallen asleep on a couch or taken over a guestroom. I’m feeling like I need to be wanted more, like somehow I need attention paid to me. I’m not used to it, it took some deciphering to understand. Every letter of want was shifted one over, world war two in a minor key, singing blandly and tiny in a shallow mind. Since when was I concerned about being pretty without irony? <\/p>\n

I didn’t make it to Sunday Tea today.<\/a> <\/i> Crying myself to sleep didn’t leave me in a state of mind that supplied motivation against the horrid hill that he lives atop of. Instead I went downtown and dealt with some things which needing sorting. One foot after the other, eyes glazed purchasing of pre-planned presents. (tikiking<\/a>, I have your return package ready.)<\/i> Someone stole my laundry that I left overnight in the washing room, but I haven’t replaced my towels yet. I woke early after going to bed late with my mouth full of iron blood, and warmth streaming down my face. The sun was just rising when I went to spit it out. Looking at myself in the mirror, I felt like cockroaches must be living under my skin in an alternate reality. Blank eyes in a pale uninteresting face smeared with crimson. There’s nothing behind those eyes, I thought to myself, I can’t find a person there.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s one of those days again. Over and over again the water droplets comes down like knives thrown into the ground, rain without end, amen. I was scared to leave the house, he had to hold my hand. He looks apiece, his coat and hair and fingers all matched in one certain picture. I have … Continue reading “darren inspired me to write this”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1314","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1314","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1314"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1314\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1314"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1314"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1314"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}