{"id":1187,"date":"2005-01-27T17:28:00","date_gmt":"2005-01-27T17:28:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/2005\/01\/27\/rabbit-its-a-monument\/"},"modified":"2005-01-27T17:28:00","modified_gmt":"2005-01-27T17:28:00","slug":"rabbit-its-a-monument","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/2005\/01\/27\/rabbit-its-a-monument\/","title":{"rendered":"rabbit: it&#8217;s a monument"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I know I haven&#8217;t said anything before, but my pet spider began talking to me last week.  Sometime around two in the morning last Sunday, I realized that my computer tower isn&#8217;t the source of that murmur I&#8217;ve been bitching about, it&#8217;s really been coming from the aquarium on the shelf next to it. You know when you get tired, sometimes you have these ridiculous ideas? Mine was something like, &#8220;How cute, it almost looks like Draco&#8217;s talking with his hands&#8221; Duh &#8211; idiot me. Turns out he was.<br \/>\nRemember I accidentally dropped him when I went to clean his cage? I felt terrible guilty about the whole thing. Like what sort of person am I to drop my pet with an audible clunk, you know? But it seems that I rattled something in his head the right way round, because now he can whisper his thoughts out loud. It&#8217;s not very good, heavily accented or something, but I&#8217;m pretty proud of him. His eyesight is terrible, it means he can&#8217;t read or anything, so I&#8217;ve started reading to him. We&#8217;re going through the Narnia Series right now. I thought he&#8217;d like it for the talking animals but instead we&#8217;ve been talking about the underlying themes. I feel like I&#8217;m back in high-school or something, doing that Onion thing. We watch little movies together too. That&#8217;s sort of why I&#8217;m finally talking about this. <\/p>\n<p>Last night someone sent me this cute little movie called <a href=\"http:\/\/www.ebaumsworld.com\/moresexthanme.html\">Everyone Has More Sex Than Me<\/a> and we got to talking about the stupid mating habits of our species. I think I said something like, &#8220;Oh come on &#8211; if a rabbit could sing like that, he&#8217;d totally get laid.&#8221; and Draco pointed out that singing might not be attractive in such a case. That&#8217;s where it got a little weird, because next thing he says is that he finds me pretty attractive, in spite of not being a spider and everything and I didn&#8217;t really know what to do with that. Has anyone got any ideas? I really like him, but I think I want to just keep him as a friend. How can I say anything without being, you know, mean?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I know I haven&#8217;t said anything before, but my pet spider began talking to me last week. Sometime around two in the morning last Sunday, I realized that my computer tower isn&#8217;t the source of that murmur I&#8217;ve been bitching about, it&#8217;s really been coming from the aquarium on the shelf next to it. You &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/2005\/01\/27\/rabbit-its-a-monument\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;rabbit: it&#8217;s a monument&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[143],"class_list":["post-1187","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-rabbit-hole-day"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1187","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1187"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1187\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1187"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1187"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/foxtongue.com\/dreampepper\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1187"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}